Birds of Prey
Split

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Split Personality

In the Bathummer, one-time super-brain Dinah needs the whole thing explained for her. Oracle's theory is that Darkstrike really did see the Crawler murder his fiancée, but in a blind rage killed him, and continues to torture himself over his fiancée's death by killing again and again. You know, that actually makes some sense. I can see how watching your fiancée die could really traumatize you and make you want to lash out. Good theory. I almost hate to point out that it doesn't explain the WHOLE SHAPESHIFTING THING, NOT THAT THAT'S IMPORTANT OR ANYTHING.

Meanwhile, back at Huntress Haus, Helena's channeling bad television movies about schizophrenics, saying things like, "I want to talk to Darkstrike." The Crawler says he's buried deep, so she can talk to him instead, but Helena sneers at the "parasite scamming Darkstrike's body." The Crawler says that Darkstrike will have to watch her suffer, then asks if she wants to know why she has to die. "Is this the part when you reveal your diabolical plan to kill me?" she says, taunting him. "'Cause I could care a little less if I put some effort into it." But he hits home by saying she's tasted the "beginnings of love," but not with Darkstrike. "You don't know anything about me," says Helena, suddenly stone-faced. "You're right; I don't even know your real name," says Crawler. Whoops! Sorry. I won't even comment on his diatribe on how he can "smell" it on her. He's close enough to her now that she's able to kick him a few times, and I have to say it's pretty fortunate that the bad guys always leave her legs free, and then do her the favour of coming close enough for her to beat the crap of them. Which she does here, then wraps her shackled hands around his neck as Dinah comes rushing in. Thanks for coming out, Dinah. Unconscious, the Crawler reverts to Darkstrike, clothes and all, who wakes up and is pleased that Huntress is okay. "He's me, isn't he? I'm the Crawler. I'm so sorry." Yeah, it sounded just as lame on the show as it looks on the page. Could somebody hold a mirror under this guy's nose to see if he's actually breathing, since he can't muster up any discernible signs of life? He says he'll never forgive himself. "I'll forgive you, John," she says, and I guess that was supposed to be some kind of "moment," her using his real name instead of his code name.

Back at the Clocktower, the girls sit around talking about Darkstrike being put in isolation at Arkham Asylum, which segues into a bunch of well-worn platitudes like "things aren't always what they seem" and "nothing worth having in this life comes easy." You know, these end-of-show homilies make Springer's Final Thoughts look like profound insights into the human condition.

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Birds of Prey

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