Birds of Prey
Three Birds And A Baby

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Old Man, Take A Look At Your Life

The Birds of Prey tendency to corkscrew its camera in during opening scenes is really starting to work my nerves, and this episode is no exception. After Alfred's Annoying Voice-over, we hear a woman screaming "leave us alone!" and other such Cries Of Peril, and we spiral in some more on an apartment window that leads out to a fire escape. The woman is holding a bundle of blankets meant to be a baby (evidenced by the piercing wails on the soundtrack) as some shadowy figure grabs at the woman as she heads out onto the fire escape. A struggle ensues, and the "baby" goes flying out of her hands towards the cold, hard, metapavement below. Fortunately, Huntress is there to snag the baby before its brains can be dashed out like something out of a Cormac McCarthy novel. Still, there's more danger in the form of several dark-clad thugs who begin attacking Huntress from all directions. She fights them off one-handed, deftly juggling the baby from arm to arm as necessary, although the velocity of her little arm maneuvers had me wondering if, after the fight was over, Huntress wasn't going to find the tyke dead of Shaken Baby Syndrome.

After dispatching the goons, Helena stands up straight, and the prop department has now given her an actual baby to hold. "Sorry it took me so long, here's your…" she trails off, as she looks up to see the woman stabbed dead on the fire escape. Commercials.

Back at the Clocktower, the baby gurgles on a blanket while Helena explains that the thugs were trying to take, er, it. "I didn't know what else to do with it," she says. Barbara, in her halting line delivery that is starting to wear on me as this series goes on, says Helena did the right thing in bringing "it" back here, because what better place for an infant than the secret lair of supposed superheroes whose lives are constantly in danger? Dinah, in order to stop the "rampant pronoun abuse," unwraps the baby's swaddle. All the women coo upon finding out the baby is a boy. And I wish I could say that unwrapping my package produces the same reaction from women, but noooooo. I just get banned for life from Denny's.

The women discuss naming options while Helena pokes at the baby and says she's fine with calling him "it." Because, you see, she's the independent non-maternal Huntress. Dinah suggests calling the kid "Guy," which Barbara calls "simple yet insightful," which is only half true. She says she'll hack into the coroner's database to try to find out who the mother was and what the attacker might have been after. Until then, they're going to look after the kid. Helena's dismayed, but Dinah's excited. "No, this is great. I was, like, the babysitter at home. Kids love me." Yeah, well, kids are stupid. As they head into the elevator (where are they going in the middle of the night?) with the baby, Helena can't believe they're serious about looking after him. "We vanquish the forces of evil every night, Helena. How hard could it be to take care of one small baby?" says Barbara. The doors close, and open again immediately (although time has supposedly elapsed) with the baby squawking and the women more frazzled, in a quick cut absolutely everybody saw coming. Barbara hands Guy over to Helena, and despite her protest that it's like holding "a sack of screaming cats," Guy stops crying. "Did I break it?" she says. "No," says Dinah disbelievingly. "He likes you. He's smiling." Barbara, from her computer, says that neither the coroner nor the police have been able to ID the woman. Guess they don't have Missouri High School Yearbook Facial Recognition software. She tells Helena to head over the morgue, and Helena obliges, happy to relinquish Guy back to Barbara, who tells her to pick up some diapers while she's out.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

Birds of Prey

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP