Boardwalk Empire
All In

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | 35 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Also The Cover Charge Was Ridiculous

Back at the party, Willie and Scootch have locked the door to Ye Olde Water Closet, and now they stand back and wait, watching Henry lurch around on the dance floor. Before long he looks to be having some intestinal distress, and beelines for the toilet, with a gleeful Willie and Scootch telling him it's occupied. So Henry heads off in another direction, only to be stopped by Willie, who calls out for Henry to show everyone the Charleston again. Henry, looking increasingly uncomfortable, wants to get past, but Willie won't let him, and with all the other students looking on, Henry's stomach gurgles, and then -- well, the closed captioning on my television reads, I think for the first time that I've ever seen it, "[defecates]." The students recoil, with some giggling, as Henry slumps to the floor, and Willie busts out a joke about most kids being out of diapers by the time in the manner of someone who has been saving that up for hours. Willie escorts a disgusted Doris out for some air, while Henry pleads for someone to let him into the bathroom.

Over at the least fun joyride ever, Al makes Van Alden take the wheel from the passenger seat so he can snort some cocaine. He gallantly offers some to Van Alden, who declines, claiming to be plenty alert already. Al is basically like "meh, more for me," and snorts Van Alden's share too. "Beats my wife's coffee, I'll tell you that much," he says. He takes the wheel back from Van Alden and asks him if O'Banion's been treating him right. Well, dinner at fancy restaurant once in a while would be nice… "He's a joker. A prankster in a violent sort of way," says Van Alden. Al's all, "He takes it too far, huh?" Keep in mind we saw Al throw someone through a second-story window earlier today. "There's a time for levity," says Van Alden, and just as you're thinking, "Well, we're into the fourth season, so Van Alden's time for levity ought to be coming along any time now," he adds that he as a sense of humor. Hee! He is never not scowling. Van Alden acknowledges that O'Banion pays him well, but says he doesn't treat him with respect. Al says Van Alden can come work for him in Cicero: They've got the election sewn up, so things are bound to get busier.

Van Alden's in the middle of asking whether Al would clear it with O'Banion -- as if -- when there's a pounding and a yelling coming from behind them in the truck. They pull over. Following them, Frank does the same, and they get out, guns at the ready while Van Alden opens the door and they find O'Banion's driver, whose name I've now figured out is Stu, screaming to be let out -- and then backpedaling as soon as he sees who's out there (except Van Alden, who's on the side of the truck behind the back door.

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Boardwalk Empire

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