Boardwalk Empire

Episode Report Card
Joe R: A- | 3 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
No Guts, No Glory

Van Alden returns to the hospital room with a warrant from the Philadelphia magister and basically bowls over Eli's deputy with legalese, but the upshot is: the Feds now have custody and jurisdiction over John Doe. Aaaaand the next thing we know, the Feds are trying to wedge Doe's fat, unconscious ass into the back of their car. The pipsqueaky one yaps at Van Alden about how many laws they're now breaking, especially since what he handed Eli's deputy was basically a gussied up search warrant. Certainly nothing that would justify abducting an unconscious man with a hole in his belly. (Guess there's something to be said about "dumb ones" in Atlantic City law enforcement too, then.) Van Alden merely admonishes Pipsqueak not to take the Lord's name in vain, and brushes off any legal concerns. "Down here? What laws?" He then throws a few bucks onto the ground for his fellow "officers" to fight over, as thanks for taking part in his little charade. You guys, I'm starting to think there's something ironic about Van Alden's pious law-n-order routine... Anyway, they set out for New York, as John Doe is one of Rothstein's men.

On the boardwalk, Jimmy horses around with Tommy, and for the first time, I'm noticing Jimmy walks with a limp. From the war, obviously. Tommy runs ahead, faster than Jimmy can catch up, and he makes it to the photographer's studio. One inside, Tommy is immediately swooped up into the photographer's arms and welcomed back. This familiarity sets Jimmy right on edge. The photog and his wife -- Robert and Mary Dittrich -- introduce themselves, and Robert, at least, is pretty oblivious to how uncomfortable and resentful Jimmy is at seeing how parental they are with Tommy. They try to break the ice by talking about how fond they are of Tommy, and Jimmy's "wife." Embarrassed, Jimmy tells them they're not married ... not yet anyway. Robert chats him up about the war, obliviously prattling on about those "thrilling tales" from overseas and how he "wouldn't have minded testing my mettle there." Jimmy, to his credit, does not make a show of looking underneath the counter for the spot where Robert is shackled to the floor. Anyway, it's time to go! Tommy doesn't want to and clings to Robert. Surely another pang hits Jimmy's heart as Robert has to tell Tommy to "be a good boy" and go with his father. Not to mention when he sends their best to Angela.

Meanwhile, on the Road to Sepsis, Pipsqueak reports that John Doe has barely a pulse to speak of. He's not going to make it -- he needs a doctor. Van Alden orders his subordinate to "wake him up -- slap him!" Squeak does so, with gusto, then pokes him in the chest: "Who shot you?" Nothing. Well this isn't going well at all...

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Boardwalk Empire

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