Boardwalk Empire

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B- | 1279 USERS: B
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Take Me to the River

Van Alden and Sebso drive out into the middle of the woods. It's broad daylight but Sebso still can't manage to follow the directions an "anonymous source" gave him to this supposed distillery. I have no idea how he thinks going the "anonymous source" route is going to make Van Alden any less suspicious, but let's see how it plays out. They park the car and trudge through the trees, but it's not a distillery that they find. Instead, they come upon a congregation of black Baptist revivalists taking part in your basic riverside baptism. This is, of course, like Christmas morning for Van Alden, but then again, he reacts like you would expect him to react on Christmas morning: suspicious and confrontational. Even after he's satisfied that it's actually a baptism, he starts challenging the pastor on Bible verses. Once Van Alden is sufficiently convinced that Deacon Coffey's Christian faith is as unbending, zealous, and intransigent as his own, Van Alden tells them to carry on. So Coffey starts railing about "He who believeth shall be saved, and he who does not shall be CONDEMNED to the FIRES of HELL!" Obviously, this is giving Van Alden a semi at the very least. It's also giving him some ideas about Sebso. "Your people don't believe in heaven, do they?" Van Alden inquires, and yes, he means the Jews. If you thought you were going to get out of the first season of this show without some old-timey anti-Semitism, think again. Sebso's like, "Um, yeah, heaven's y'all's delusion, not ours." Van Alden is vexed by this: "If you don't believe in heaven, how can you conceive of hell?" Van Alden then turns back to the congregation, who are volunteering to have their sins washed away. He's getting a crazy (-er) look in his eyes and he sees the kind of fire-brand religious zeal he's always wanted. Christianity: Giving borderline psychopaths the courage of their wild-ass convictions since, well, ever. Sebso asks if Van Alden's okay. "I am," he replies. "The question is, are you?" Oh man. It never bodes well when a Christian looks at a Jew like that.

Boardwalk Empire

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