All Hallow's Eve

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now!
Don't Give Up on Me

Cut to dusk, outside a 99-cent store. Um, those kids? They've probably gotten away by now, Ray, what with your breezy browsing of last-second Halloween costumes. Besides, those 99-cent stores are totally cleared out by this time on Halloween. Ray would have to wear a can of cream of mushroom soup tied to his head. Ray gives a Fearless-worthy speech about how 99-cent stores don't have the money to sell the authentic merchandise, so they sell the generic knock-offs. I'd like to know where this 99-cent store is, because it's got a massive parking lot you don't find with those stores around here. Ray says that instead of Harry Potter, you get "Boy Wizard," which explains why Wahlberg's kid was wearing such a shitty costume at the top of the episode. It's totally dark now when Ray shows Gedrick his costume: "Maniac Hockey Mask Killer," even though it's practically a Hannibal costume. And is he still going to wear his police uniform? Because I think he'll look like a cop in a mask. On Gedrick's side of the screen, it's not pitch black yet, and still just dusk, as he holds up his Scream mask (is that already considered a generic knock-off? The Scream outfit?), and asks again if they're supposed to wear these costumes over their uniforms. again, I ask: aren't there kids in a getaway vehicle breaking into homes that you're supposed to be finding right now? Then Ray makes a joke about how Gedrick could go as a Comanche, but he'd need body paint for that, and he'd have to put it on himself. Because Gedrick's still almost gay, right? When will that episode happen?

Tom. Dark now. Trick-or-treating; nondescript location. Gedrick (a.k.a. Tom) is actually trick-or-treating, with a bag of candy. He walks over to Ray, looks into his bag with a flashlight, and quips, "I'm sweating like a Backstreet Boy in a holding cell." Does that mean the Backstreet Boy would be nervous to have gay sex? Because that joke is as incorrectly written as it is lame. Why do I always have to use the adjective "lame" at least once per recap of this show? Gedrick says again that this is all very stupid. Ray makes him hold his knife out so that it "looks right." How long is their shift, by the way? Gedrick lifts up his mask and says, "Can we just call it a night?" Ray says he wants to do a couple more houses, since he heard some kids say there's a lady down the street giving out old-fashioned caramel apples. Suddenly Ray's holding a radio, and there's word that an ambulance has been hijacked. Now, the ambulance was hijacked during the day, and Wahlberg was told during the broad daylight. Why did they wait another hour or two to tell the cops? Why are there only five people working for the city of Los Angeles? They're told that an ambulance has been hijacked with an EMT on board in the mid-Wilshire district. "We gotta go," Gedrick says. But wait! Kids are stealing plastic pumpkins and getting into a getaway car! That's much more important than one of their friends getting hijacked, or responding to an "all units" order! "Get the cab!" Gedrick shouts to Ray as he starts running after the car, still in costume, not bothering to take off his mask or identify himself, just running in costume, begging to be hit by a car.

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