All Hallow's Eve

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now!
Don't Give Up on Me

David McNorris. Wolf howl. Fancy Halloween party. A fake Marcia Gay Harden is the help hired to answer the door. She's dressed as a French maid, and she Frenchly chastises McNorris and his wife for not arriving in costume. McNorris says he's dressed as a lawyer. Not-Marcia tries to flirt innocently with McNorris, saying he's too handsome to be a lawyer. "She's got a point," McNorris says to his wife. Not-Marcia hands McNorris and his wife Mardi Gras masks to carry around the party, since everyone must be in costume. They don't want to carry the masks, so Not-Marcia drops the fake accent and deadpans, "Please? He gets really pissed when people don't play along." McNorris and his wife take the masks, and Not-Marcia gives them a couple of "Merci"s. McNorris and his wife chuckle and grin, saying, "Oh, my!" a few times, like this is somehow the greatest Halloween art direction of all time, but it's just a few yellow lamps and a prop guillotine. McNorris's wife asks what they're doing there. We learn that the party is being thrown by some fancy movie director, and that McNorris wants this guy to do his campaign commercials next election period ("three years from now"). Then they start complaining about how lousy his movies are ("that bus movie"), so I don't really understand why McNorris is so interested in him. "And his latest one is called Killer Outfit," the wife says gleefully. "It's the one where all the clothes have minds of their own and they start killing people!" And this is the guy you want directing your ad campaign? I don't get it. McNorris turns down a caterer with a tray, proudly explaining, "I don't drink," as if the caterer would give a shit. Okay, get ready for worst joke of Boomtown history: "Clothes that kill. Check Revelations. I think it's a sign of the Apocalypse." McNorris and his wife continue to pretend they understand the Industry. His wife is blab-blabbing on about something, but everyone, including McNorris, is now watching some girl walk up the stairs holding a mask to her face. We're all supposed to just know that's Andrea. Man, this show makes Los Angeles a small fucking world. McNorris boldly announces that he has to see a man about a horse. "At least I didn't say I've got to go drain the snake," he notes. "Which I just...did," he adds. Can we get on with the damn episode, please?!? McNorris leaves his wife to go mug down with his mistress.

This party is so lame, you can hear people making cat noises just to have something to say. The music sucks, there's hardly anyone there, and people are just walking around in boredom, like Andrea. "I'd know that walk anywhere," McNorris says to Andrea as he walks towards her, in full view of his wife. "Do I know you, sir?" Andrea says in her "British" voice, which is her voice until the word "Sir," which is pronounced, "Sih" so it sounds more "British." Somehow this fools McNorris entirely, and he's all dumbfounded and shocked, muttering that he thought he knew her, obviously wondering if he could add another mistress to the mix and get away with it. Andrea throws down her mask and wipes her forehead as she says, "David, for a cynic, you're so gullible." McNorris asks to talk to her for a second and ushers her into another room. The room that says "MORGUE"! So scary! Scary! They add scary music so it's even scarier!

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