All Hallow's Eve

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now!
Don't Give Up on Me

Color. From the passed-out point-of-view of McNotahey, we somehow see Teresa shining a flashlight into McNotahey's passed-out eyes. She tells him not to talk because his larynx is hurt. Wahlberg asks Teresa if she's sure she wants to do this. Teresa says she does and thanks Wahlberg. "For what?" he asks. "For helping me on the phone," she exhales. "I don't know how much help I was," Wahlberg says. I totally agree. "You took care of everything by yourself," he adds. Teresa -- who suddenly doesn't have bangs anymore -- says that Wahlberg helped her keep focused, and that she might have lost it if he wasn't there...for like, five minutes. Someone hands Teresa a package of ice. She thanks him. Wahlberg leans down and says there's another unit coming that can take care of McNotahey. "You don't have to do this," he says. "Yes, I do," Teresa says. "You have to," Wahlberg says again. "It's a long story," Teresa explains. Ask Fearless. He likes to tell long stories. Wahlberg leaves, mentally tongue-kissing her before he goes. Slow motion as Teresa looks down and the incredibly schmaltzy echoed voice-over starts: "Grant that I may seek to comfort rather than to be comforted, to understand than to be understood, to love than to be loved. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven." It's not the same prayer as earlier, but almost. It's those little inconsistencies that make us love this show, right? Hello?

Marian. Hmm? Who? Oh. Mrs. McNorris, the forgotten woman. She's asked McNorris how bad that line for the bathroom had to have been, since he was gone for so damn long. He confesses that he ran into a woman that he knows, Andrea Little. "That must have been a chore," Marian says. "How so?" Marian: "Oh, David, please. She's beautiful. Don't pretend you haven't noticed. She's very good at what she does. She's also a shark. I wouldn't trust her if I were you." As they stand in the black light, I wonder how McNorris's cold, icy eyes aren't glowing purple, and his weird hair isn't glowing as well. McNorris says he doesn't trust Andrea, and asks if he can show Marian something.

The morgue. "Nice," Marion says. "If he had any guts he'd put it downstairs on the dining-room table." Is that a dis? Whatever. McNorris gives Marian the Creepy Eye. He pulls her over towards him and we see the total Calista that Marian's got for a spine. Yikes, it's the most terrifying part of this Halloween episode. McNorris kisses Marian's hand. She notes that he's been drinking. The sad piano plunks as McNorris says, "Yes, I have. But I've also been thinking. I'm always telling everyone how beautiful and sensitive and wonderful my wife is. And then I just saw you standing downstairs and I realized I've been telling the wrong person." He does not add, "I've been telling my mistress, the woman who prays every day for our divorce." McNorris pulls Marian in for a hug, and kisses her bones, gently pressing her body into his to where her brittle frame might shatter. Marian looks over his shoulder and sees a mask on a table, the mask that she somehow knows is Andrea's, and this somehow makes her know that McNorris is having an affair with her, even though she never noticed over the past four years when they spent all their time together making out in public, right next to her at all times. The camera jostles as Marian pulls back very slowly from McNorris. "Are you sleeping with that reporter?" she asks quietly. McNorris stares for a while. "No," he finally says. The animatronic corpse flips up and screams, echoing my sentiments exactly.

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