All Hallow's Eve

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now!
Don't Give Up on Me

The scariest thing is that this room has two different doors, depending on whether you're watching the end of the last scene (one door, already open), or the beginning of this scene (double doors, different lighting). This room is the "morgue," of course, with bodies on tables and scary music playing in the background. It looks like every hospital room in ER right after they call time of death. "Hmm," McNorris says about the room. "Well," he adds. This script is great! McNorris asks Andrea why she's not returning any of his phone calls. Andrea half-closes her eyes and says she told him she needs some time. That's why she goes to the same parties he's attending, completely by herself, moping around slowly: so she can have some time away from him. There's a body in the room that we're all supposed to assume is a real person who's going to hear about their affair and then expose it. I don't understand why Andrea and McNorris don't even check the bodies just to be on the safe side, or even look around to see if there's anybody else in there before they start talking about their affair. These two want to get caught. They make some small talk until the "body" flips upwards with fake scary noise. Andrea screams. If you'd like to know just how memorable the women of this show are, I just realized that for the past two scenes I'd been accidentally writing "Teresa" instead of "Andrea" and I didn't even notice. They're that useless on this show. The body flips back onto the table and McNorris goes, "'s animatronic." Oh, thanks, McNorris, since Andrea's such a moron she might have written a front-page story about it if you hadn't explained it to her so quickly. Anyway, the body's totally breathing, so you might want to investigate just a bit more. Andrea says, "Really? I thought they paid an actor to rip open his chest." She says it like she's got a lozenge in her mouth. And anyway, normally they would pay an actor to rip open his chest and scare people. That's what this city's for.

McNorris pauses for a really long time before he asks, "Miss Little, are we done?" He says that "I need some time" is usually code for "So long, sucker." Andrea says that she'd never mistake McNorris for a sucker. "Oh. But... we are done?" he asks. Andrea backs away from him as the sad piano plays. She says she doesn't want to waste her time. "You're never gonna leave your wife," she says. "Even uh...even if I wanted you to." It's cold in the morgue, since I can see Andrea's nipples. Oh, man. This is some clichéd writing, right here. McNorris: "And do I have any say in this matter, or is it when you say it's over, it's over?" Andrea opens her arms wide, fingers spread, in the official Hey, I'm Not the One With the Wife pose as she says, "It's generally how it works. It's not a contract we have to negotiate our way out of." McNorris says he thought they did have a contract -- one where she wrote good things about him and he gave her inside information on bad things happening in L.A. that cops are already investigating. Ah, love. Andrea sighs and slaps her thighs, which causes McNorris to say, "Ohhhhhh. I see. You want to maintain that part of the relationship." I don't know how he ascertained that, but fine. Andrea gets angry, saying they've both benefited from their unethical working relationship. McNorris is on a pointing and touching spree, putting his hands on things as he talks to prove his point, to show just how emotionally wrecked this is all making him. He picks up scalpels, he touches the feet of the animatronic stiff. McNorris says they both benefited from the sex as well. "Yes, some more than others," Andrea says with a bored accent. McNorris says this ridiculous line: "Oh, no, don't. We both know I knocked your frilly little socks off." McNorris says they can go back to being the reporter and the politician scratching each other's backs: "But at some point that scratching of each other's back turns into biting of each other's neck and grabbing the old headboard." Ha! "The old headboard"? Who talks like that? Ugh, Andrea's line is even worse: "Which leads to grabbing of each other by the neck and squeezing." Bondage? Or did they try to kill each other? Is he suffocating her with his aloof distance?

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