All Hallow's Eve

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now!
Don't Give Up on Me

There's a screeching noise, and a truck pulls up sharply in front of the ambulance. "Whoa!" the driver says, unconvincingly. Men dressed as bandits get out of the truck, weaving around themselves, trying to figure out which one's going to take which side. Instead of leaving out the back, putting the ambulance in reverse and leaving, or trying to radio in for help while leaving, Teresa and the driver just wear confused faces as they watch the men with guns surround their ambulance. Somehow, their windows are now down as well as the men put guns up to Teresa's and the driver's heads. They demand that the driver get out of the truck. "Get out of the truck or I'll kill you both!" he repeats. Teresa starts to get out, but the head bandit says in his Southern accent, "Just you, not the lady!" Teresa turns back around, terrified. "What do you want?" the driver poorly shouts, and I start to wonder why there's suddenly absolutely nobody around, when three seconds ago, Teresa and the driver were watching the many trick-or-treaters walking around, going up to houses and asking for candy. How come Crenshaw's suddenly so deserted? In the daylight? On an intersection? Head Bandit leans into the truck and cuts the cord on the very silent radio. "Do what I say, you live," he warns Teresa. Then he turns back around and punches the driver in the face as electric guitar wails in the background, illustrating how dangerous this moment is. "No!" Teresa screams half-heartedly.

We see the other bandits drag the driver into a carport as the Head Bandit screams for Teresa to get in the back of the ambulance. Teresa obeys, and the Head Bandit gets into the ambulance, immediately taking off his disguise. He walks into the back of the ambulance and asks Teresa if she's good. Then he has to ask her again, twice, if she's good at what she does. Teresa says she is. "You better be," Head Bandit says. The back of the ambulance door -- which I guess wasn't locked or anything -- opens, and the other bandits carry their fallen brother bandit into the truck and onto a stretcher. "Now get out of here," Head Bandit quietly says to the other bandits, apparently not worried that they'll somehow run into any cops or anything out here during this very public hijacking. Head Bandit is somehow panting now as he says to Teresa, his accent as obvious as this plotline, "Let me make this perfectly clear. That's my brother. If he dies, you die." Head Bandit's in total Matthew McConaughey mode, all pausing and slurring his words like he almost got that part in Reign of Fire. The camera zooms in so close to Teresa's face that she almost knocks the lens as the music swells to a tension overload and we finally get a fucking commercial break.

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