Boomtown

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Pamie: A- | 1062 USERS: C
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Knock, Knock

Henry tells his wife that he was leaving the doctor's office when Wahlberg stopped him. She says they got picked because of the Jag. Henry tells Ray that the Jag is #7 on the reasons why it's not so bad to have terminal cancer: you can buy a Jag if you have the money. Mrs. Stein asks if they'll just park a couple of patrol cars out front instead. Wahlberg says that if they do that, it'll just scare them away. They don't want to scare them away; they want to stop them. He says they want the perps to think they have "a clean shot" at the Steins. "You wanna use us as bait?" Mrs. Stein asks. Wahlberg lies that they're not using them as bait. As soon as the sun goes down, they'll be escorting the family out to the back yard. Henry's not having it, though. He's going to be upstairs in his bed. Wahlberg says he should probably go with the rest of his family. "What are they gonna do?" he asks. "Kill me?" Mrs. Stein asks to talk Wahlberg out in the hall. "No, Doreen," Henry says. "You may not talk to him out in the hall." He says he knows she's just going to say that Henry can't handle this stress and he only has a few months to live. He calls her over. She sits next to him. Henry says that he probably can't handle this stress. This might cost him a week of what he has left. "So?" he asks. "It's not like I can tell you guys that I love you more than I already have." His hourglass is running out: "I'm not going to let these sick bastards drive me out of my own house." Doreen says she doesn't know if she can do this. "Yes, you can," Henry says. Fearless cuts in on the walkie: "[Wahlberg], we got two teenage girls on their way to the house." He says it like his next question would be, "You want me to take 'em down?" Doreen worries about the girls. "How are they gonna react to this?"

"This is so cool," one of the girls says. Apparently, quite a bit of time has passed, and the family is now sitting down at dinner. The other daughter does not think this is cool. The girls bicker about one of them having gone to Washington, D.C. for Spring Break, a factoid that doesn't add a thing to this plot. Henry says that they should have gone to Mardi Gras for Spring Break: "Let 'em throw beads." Doreen asks if they should let their daughters bare their breasts to strangers -- and videocameras, as well. "If they want to," Henry says. The girls call their dad "gross." Then Henry grosses me out with this sentence to Ray: "They aren't so keen on me becoming so touchy-feely. But you see, priorities change." What does that mean? Ew. What does that have to do with baring their breasts? The girls realize that he's about to tell "The Joke." He launches into it, and all three women have to leave the table, offended by "The Joke." Henry doesn't finish the joke, however, because a wave of pain hits him. Ray's smile fades.

Boomtown

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