Home Invasion

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
Knock, Knock

Fearless picks up where McPointy left off, accusing Andrea of blackmailing the chief to try to win her Pulitzer. Wahlberg tells her that when they're "out there," she can't talk, move, or breathe unless they tell her to.

Surveillance van. They try to find the frequency, Kenneth, of Rabjon and his cell phone. Ramos gives a dirty look to Andrea, who's quietly sitting in the back of the van. Fearless and Wahlberg are dressed in hard hats and fire suits, attempting to look like surveyor guys. They aim their surveillance camera at a motel. I'm not sure why they're at this motel, or how they know Rabjon is staying there, but suddenly Rabjon gets out of his car. They find the frequency and listen to Rabjon lie to his mother, saying he's on his way to church. "Yeah, church," Fearless says into his microphone. "What church is that?" Ooh, burn. But how did they know he'd be there? I guess it doesn't matter. A dominatrix walks out of his motel room. She holds her whip. Rabjon tells his mother he has to go; the minister is in front of him. The dominatrix grabs Rabjon by the ear and throws him into the room. The cops joke: "Yeah, I think I heard about this church. It's the Church of the Holy Ass Spanking?" Leave the snark to the experts, copper. Ramos says he knows the Reverend: "Reverend Lottapain." Andrea disapproves of their filthy man-talk, and sneers at them. Hey, lady, you wanted to see the inside. They don't go to McPointy's office and criticize how you give blowjobs, do they? Wahlberg tells the cops to knock it off and then calls Rabjon a man who "carved up two families." So much for due process. They put the "laser" mic on the window of the room. I like to say it in the Dr. Evil voice. The "laser" mic. Anyway, we hear Rabjon make his moans and squeals as the dominatrix whips and beats him. Ramos jokes that Rabjon is "all tied up." Andrea shakes her head, disgusted by these pigs she's sharing air with. Grow up, Andrea.

Wahlberg and Fearless bet how long it'll take for Fearless to Slim Jim the car. He says he can do it in under ten seconds; it takes him eleven. Is this legal? Anyway, they pop the trunk and find all they need. Ramos calls for backup to arrest Rabjon.. Wahlberg and Fearless walk back to the van.

"Key copying machine and a rack full of blanks," Wahlberg notes as he gets back into the van. They ask what's happening in the room. Eddie, on the earphones, says that there was a whole lot of moaning and groaning, but now nothing. Fearless sees that Andrea's holding a tape recorder. Fearless says she can't use it. Andrea says she's "just gonna check the batteries." Fearless tells her to take the batteries out. Ramos asks to see the tape recorder, asks what kind it is, blah blah blah, and then pours coffee into the recorder with sarcastic glee that would make Judd Nelson proud. Wahlberg scolds Ramos. At the same time, we can hear the dominatrix tell Rabjon to get down from "up there," and that he's had enough. "You know what you get for sleeping," she says. "Wake up, you puke. Wake up!" Then she starts telling him to stop. "Don't screw me. You didn't say 'orange.'" Orange you glad he didn't? "Wake up!" Then the dominatrix gets upset and calls 911. For some reason, the phone is tapped as well. Shouldn't Wahlberg cancel the 911? The cops finally decide that maybe they should go check this out and arrest this murderer who was alone with a prostitute that he might have brutally slaughtered in the time it took for them to discuss whether it'd be a good idea to go up there and check things out.

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