The opening credits remind us that L.A. is full of horrible murders and crime, but that there are six sexy people willing to stand around talking about themselves while it happens.

Mary Claire Rogers. We don't actually start with her point of view, but with an aerial shot of Moe's Sports Village while Christmas music plays, even though it's a Thanksgiving-themed episode. A truck pulls up to the store, and a guy in a blue vest hurriedly gets out of the car and runs inside. That's why there are never any good parking spots at those stores -- the employees are parking in the front. Holy crap! I just turned into my father, right there! Did you see it? Yikes! Anyway, Joe Penny is rounding up all of his employees into the center of the store. He holds a bottle of champagne. He announces that he's proud to say they've survived the Thanksgiving weekend rampage. What's with television suddenly setting things way in the future? At the same time on a different channel, Curb Your Enthusiasm was having a Christmas episode. Not that I watch anything but Boomtown on Sunday nights at 10 PM. Oh, no. Not for a second would I consider taping this and watching it later. Much later. Right when I would rather be sleeping. Joe Penny makes a few jokes about how the holidays are a joyous occasion if you're not in retail. The employees -- dressed like they work at Wal-Mart -- are all charmed as hell at Joe's banter. They hug each other and giggle, the Christmas music making my eyeballs ache. Joe thanks everyone for their work, and begins calling everyone out by their name. Now, for the first time, we get to see Mary Claire, whose POV this is supposed to be. Mary Claire is an attractive, heavy-set woman with brown curly hair. Joe Penny twists open his bottle of "nectar ambrosia" as everyone applauds. As everyone lines up for glasses of goodness, Mary Claire excuses herself to go pee. That's what she says. The Christmas music's in overdrive as Joe Penny keeps pouring out booze to his employees, our POV of Mary Claire completely abandoned.