Insured By Smith & Wesson

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Pamie: A | Grade It Now!
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Teresa. Who? Heh. And, by the way, can I get a fucking commercial break? Jeez. Teresa's gonna go in the building, since she's the only paramedic in all of Los Angeles and clearly there's nobody more qualified -- like the doctor Eat Me specified -- or anything. Wahlberg is, of course, right at Teresa's side, reminding her once again that she doesn't have to do this, that she doesn't have to do this, and also -- she doesn't have to do this. But she wants to, you see. Wants to. Needs to. Wears her mother in her chest pocket, needs to. She's going to take her partner, the still shell-shocked Randy, in with her. Randy's like, "Man, I don't even get a POV on this show. I don't have to die now, do I? Can't I just remember that I've got a phone in my jacket pocket again?" Ray steps up here and announces that he's going in instead: "Instead of Teresa." "And Randy!" comes a tiny muffled voice from Randy's direction. Ray says he's getting off the couch. Teresa says she has to go in because of some paramedical deficiency we're just learning Randy has. Teresa's the only person in Los Angeles who understands gunshot wounds. Randy says that he'll be okay and he's her partner, so he's supposed to be in there. But Teresa tells Randy not to go, and that Ray's better equipped to handle the tense situation. Poor Randy, always getting the shit end of the stick around here. Randy's a hottie, y'all. Gedrick! Get on that shit! Okay, now Wahlberg's penis is feeling a little threatened, so he takes off his jacket (for whatever reason) and announces, "Okay, you know what? I'll go in with her." Oh, thanks for finally stepping up, Wahlberg, but you're too late. Ray already volunteered to be Teresa's hero. There's some bickering and big-man talk. We learn that the black man who's been hanging around, asking about turkeys, being in the important meetings, is the captain. "You said to step up, Captain?" Ray asks him. "I'm stepping up." The captain agrees to let Ray go in with Teresa, and it's all settled. Gedrick asks, "Randy? Help me find him something to wear?" And Gedrick and Randy go back into the closet once again.

The door opens and Not Eat Me's trained a pistol at the door. We're in Teresa's POV, here. She brings in a stretcher, Ray pushing the back end. Eat Me tells Not Eat Me to frisk them. Not Eat Me gets a little hands-on with Teresa, and she tells him to knock it off. After he frisks Ray, he declares that they're "good." Mary Claire is on the floor, resting on some sleeping bags, Joe Penny kneeling over her, holding her hand as she whimpers. Eat Me tells Ray to get the food and the vests and to hurry up. Teresa kneels beside Mary Claire. Teresa checks the bullet wound. She asks what kind of bullet, and Not Eat Me offers up that information. Ray pretends to check Mary Claire's pulse as Not Eat Me keeps a gun trained on them. Teresa gets solemn as she realizes that there are two heartbeats. "I'm pregnant," Mary Claire confesses. As Not Eat Me walks away for no reason, Teresa tells Ray to get a BP. Ray leans in and says loudly to Teresa, "That's Reggie Flood. We got case files on that guy." Not too obvious at all, Ray. Eat Me stares Teresa down, so she goes back to work. Mary Claire asks if he killed her baby. "No," Teresa says. "No, honey. He didn't." She tells Mary Claire that they're going to get her to a hospital right away. Eat Me says that Mary Claire's not going anywhere. Teresa tells Mary Claire to keep pressure on her wound (how about Ray? Can he help with anything?) and walks over to Eat Me. She tells him that the baby will die in thirty minutes if they don't get to a hospital. Eat Me says he really doesn't care. Teresa: "At your trial, during the death-penalty phase? I'm gonna get up on that stand. I'm gonna tell them how you callously disregarded the life of a mother and child." Eat Me: "Not if I kill you first." Teresa: "Well, then you'll die for killing me." Eat Me caresses Teresa's face with his gun, which causes Ray to go instinctively for this imaginary gun on his side. Ray says that they don't want to keep Mary Claire there because the cops will just be bugging them every fifteen minutes to check on her condition. Every fifteen minutes? Isn't that van due in about ten, anyway? Eat Me tells them to get her out.

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