Lost Child

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B+ | Grade It Now!
Drugs Are Bad, Mm-Kay?

Flash to Wahlberg, Teresa, and Randy wheeling Kelly on a stretcher. Kelly is screaming, her arms reaching, "Oh, my God! I killed! I killed her! I killed my baby!"

Back to Teresa, who says nothing. Trumper says he doesn't enjoy doing this. He's here to protect those who can't help themselves, like an innocent child. Did you know Teresa's last name was Ortiz? Teresa nods and stares. Trumper asks again what Kelly screamed that night. Teresa shakes her head: "Nothing." The music tries to get us to care. Why didn't Trumper move in for the kill, saying he knew Wahlberg and Teresa were almost having an affair?

Cut to Teresa telling Wahlberg that he's going all "Susan Smith" on Kelly. Nice. Wahlberg sighs the big sigh and says, "You gotta be kiddin' me." Me too. Wahlberg tells Teresa that when Kelly said that she killed the baby, she didn't mean it. Really? Then why did you order the second autopsy report, Detective? Teresa says she knows about grief, and that almost anyone who loses a child feels responsible no matter how it happens. Wahlberg says again that Kelly didn't mean it. Teresa says, "I don't judge people. I just try to help them. I just wish to God that I could help you." They tongue-kiss. Fearless runs in and announces that Janice didn't shoot up with heroin. The drug report came back. She ODed on a barbiturate taken orally "with some kind of fruit drink." In the needle was Pitocin, a labor-inducing drug. Fearless suggests they have another talk with the boyfriend. Jesus, people. Do some detective work! Who was she with two hours earlier who would have given her some pills with some juice? The Doctor? YOU THINK?! Come on. Quit stalling.

Joel. (You know: Wahlberg.) The lamest skaters ever jump off a six-inch ramp as Junkie Dad watches from a bench. Fearless and Wahlberg find him, because there's only one bench in Los Angeles. Junkie Dad's on some good shit, and barely remembers the detectives. He asks, "Do I know you, man?" and then, of course, tries to run, because they always have to run. Wahlberg puts him in a headlock and wrestles him back to the bench. Junkie Dad: "I didn't take no baby. I told you that." Whatever, anyway, he admits that it's Dr. D who steals babies. They paid him in pharmaceutical-grade drugs to drug up Janice. When? This is confusing. Forget it. Moving on.

Cut to a "Postal Express" truck outside an apartment. Ray's at the door, wearing short pants, holding a parcel. He knocks on the door. Dr. D answers. "Oh, hi. I have a delivery for Doctor Pamela Donner," says Ray. Y'all, I do believe I just got a shout-out. Dr. D asks him to leave it by the door, but Ray says he can't do that because it's perishable. All Pams love fruit, so Dr. D opens the chain lock. Immediately, Ray's got a gun in her face, screaming, "LAPD!" Fearless is somehow already in the living room, a gun drawn. There's a baby in a laundry basket in front of a hopeful couple. You'd think the couple might be suspicious when their new baby is delivered in a laundry basket. The baby's crying, guns are pointed at the couple, and somehow Wahlberg's in Dr. D's basement, holding a gun at the doctor when she tries to leave.

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