"Not quite the Ganges, is it?" We start at a shot of the L.A. River, the shot you know so well from when the T-Birds raced the Scorpions to the sound of "Greased Lightnin'." "Not really a river anymore," says the elderly black man standing over the dried-out concrete bayou that runs through Los Angeles. I think that's a young actor in make-up, actually. "Used to flood like a son of a bitch when I was a boy. They paved it all up in the '50s." Loud seagulls threaten to peck at his head as someone plays dramatic music in the background. The old man turns and looks right at me. "London's got the Thames," he says to me. "Paris got the Seine. Vienna's got the Blue Danube. L.A.'s got a...concrete drainage ditch. It's all we've got. It'll have to do." "Is this a PSA?" Stee asks.
Welcome to Boomtown, where I'll constantly be recapping something I've already recapped. I'm frightened that this insular recapping might send me through some kind of time portal, and I'll be trapped inside my own recap. Not to worry; I'm sure I won't be recapping this show for more than five episodes.
Meet District Attorney McNorris. He's the scary-looking pale man from Minority Report. He also says "A-boot," instead of "about." He's talking on his cell phone in a very long shot about lab results and murder-type things so we know he's a very serious DA who wears a serious suit and cares about things. His assistant interrupts his call, announcing that he's got "Marion" on the line. "Who?" McNorris asks. "Your wife," is the predictable answer. "Is this the beautiful and charming Mrs. McNorris?" he asks her once she's put through. Marion is freaking out, saying she's got blood all over her hands because two girls have just been shot. She's crying, repeating that one girl was six and one was sixteen. McNorris keeps asking if she's okay, but it's pretty clear that she's not. McNorris tells her to go inside and wash her hands. He says he's five minutes away and he'll be right over. He tells her to go inside and wait for him. She repeats that she wants him to "get here." He clicks a button and asks, "Did you get that?" So, I guess everyone rolls calls with him, or he's just got a massive three-way system on his phone. Anyway, McNorris is mad, mad, mad that kids have been shot. Mad enough to almost say the F-word. He cancels his lunch and demands someone from his office put on this case. He wants everyone called, all media, including "The Trib."
Press Conference. We're outside near the school, and there's a crowd gathered around McNorris as he fields questions. McNorris announces that his wife, Marion, has been working at this school. She's been volunteering since last June. Marion doesn't look too upset, unless quiet counts as upset. A reporter asks the name of the wounded girl, but McNorris says that the girl's mother hasn't been reached yet, so they can't release her name. The reporter asks with a huge smirk whether the girl was a gang member. McNorris self-righteously answers that the girl was only sixteen, and regardless of whether she was in a gang, she didn't deserve to die. McNorris barks, "Last question," and a man in a suit asks if there's any news on the "Vista Heights" investigation. McNorris says he's not there to talk about that case. As he turns to leave, a woman clears her throat loudly and asks, "Uh, why are we here?" McNorris turns back to the podium. A pretty reporter lady that we're supposed to pay attention to asks her question again: "Why are we here?" Her name is Andrea, McNorris informs us, and he says she's there because someone was shot. "Given that that happens every day in the city, why are we all here for this one?" she asks. Andrea says that all of the media was called out for this, and she's pretty sure it's because McNorris's wife is a volunteer at this school. Marion gives a weak glance over to Andrea. McNorris answers with this speech: "Because this happens every day in this city. I didn't see a crowd of reporters at 163 and Florence two days ago when Conchita Escovito was killed by a stray bullet while she sitting at her kitchen table feeding her baby girl. You're damn right I had my assistant call your editors and news directors because I knew that me being here could get you here. Now, look. I don't blame you because you don't go to the scene of every shooting. When something happens every day, it stops being news. I'm no saint above this myself. The only reason I knew those two names I just mentioned is because they're ongoing cases. You ask me who was murdered on this day six months ago? I wouldn't know. Not their names, anyway. I tend not to forget the faces." He leaves, thanking Andrea for the question. Andrea has been staring at McNorris this entire time, imagining him naked.