Storm Watch

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now!
Blah, Blah, Blah

Everybody's outraged. The station has just been put under lockdown and now nobody can get in or out. So many hours later, why are they sure the rat's still hanging around? The FBI is blocking the door. Wahlberg tries to macho past, saying he needs to get his wife and son out of the building. The FBI man explains that "lockdown" means that even crazy moms and half-sons have to stay in the building, too. Wahlberg says that there's going to be an exception here because they are civilians and they just walked in the door. I don't know why they have to get out of the building so badly. I mean, isn't the best place for Krazy Kelly right by her ever-protecting husband? And wouldn't it be a good thing for Willy to see what his dad does for a living? That way they still spend the evening together. Well, Wahlberg can't take it, and almost punches the FBI guy, he's so upset about this lockdown thing, until the Captain comes over and somehow gets the FBI to let Kelly and Willy leave. He tells the FBI guy that the only reason the Wahlberg family is even in the building is because the FBI took so long to respond to the call. He thinks that if the rat is still in the building, there's a potentially dangerous situation about to unfold. Willy and Kelly leave, all full of emotional drama we can't sympathize or empathize with. That kid-- he's so the rat. Raisinets? Only rats eat Raisinets, kid. Real heroes eat Skittles. Why wasn't Wahlberg arrested for assaulting the FBI man?

In case you're just tuning in, they tell us once again that someone from the inside tipped off two safecrackers, and now two officers are dead. DOES EVERYONE UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION? Good. Because for a second I almost forgot. What happened to the story getting told all out of order? Remember when I had to use my brain to watch this show? Now I can sleep, as I did the first time I watched this episode (too much talky makes the Pamie sleepy), and not miss a damn plot point. The captain explains that the FBI is sending two senior officers up from San Diego, and they have one hour before they get there. In the meantime, there's a man from Internal Affairs just hanging out in the corner, playing Fly On the Wall. The Captain wants Wahlberg to interview everyone for potential witnesses until the Feds arrive. He wants the IA man to sit in on the interviews. Look, it doesn't really matter, any of this stuff. We'll never see the San Diego guys anyway, so I don't know why they're even bothering telling us about them, except to create the illusion of a one-hour deadline. Ramos says it's appropriate that the IA guy is a fly on the wall, since flies breed in crap. Ooh, my dick from the last episode is threatening to grow back. IA and Ramos pass a few "my dick's bigger" statements back and forth, and I'm not really sure why there's all this hostility. Ramos threatens to fix IA's brakes until the Captain tells him to give it a rest. The Captain has confiscated all weapons. Well, there goes any potential danger. I guess Kelly and Willy really didn't have to leave, did they? Since Wahlberg wasn't in the building when the call was made, he has to do all the interviews, and he's the primary detective on the case. Wahlberg doesn't want to; he doesn't want to have to question his co-workers. The Captain says he doesn't want the FBI suits to have to do it, but Wahlberg doesn't like the idea of grilling other cops. The Captain says they don't have time. The background music crests to a huge wave of "tension" as he asks, "Are you in or out?" Wahlberg snuffs, huffs, rolls his head back in "decision," licks his lips, looks to the ground, swallows and says...oh, commercial break. RIVETING.

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