Boomtown

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | 567 USERS: C+
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At the interrogation room, Wahlberg asks Zach why Jo(e)y was at his party. "She wanted to talk," he says. I'll say. "She was upset." Fearless asks if she was upset about the video. Zach says she wasn't. She was upset at first, but not that night. "She and her father had a fight," he says. "About what?" Fearless asks. "I guess her father saw the video on her computer and...um...he found a check that I'd given her, and he got this crazy idea that I was paying her for sex." McNorris echoes my sentiments, as well as yours, as he mumbles, "Oh, you gotta be kidding me." Now, if the father killed the girl at the guesthouse, how did nobody know that? Didn't Zach see the father there, with the fireplace poker? The guy who was having sex with her -- did he not see him? How did the dad get into and out of that mansion without any security seeing? Why am I the only one who sees the nine million plot holes every episode has? Why are we smarter than this show? Why haven't we boycotted yet? Look, I know there's only about thirty of us even reading these recaps, anyway. Don't we want better for our lives? Don't we deserve more than this? Why was she keeping the video on her computer, if it upset her? Why would she do that when her dad's so strict? How was she even able to get out of the house that night, since she would have been crazy-grounded? Dammit!

Mr. Lam. Fearless asks Mr. Lam about the night Jo(e)y died. I guess this is a new conversation they're having on, like, a Tuesday or something. Mr. Lam says they didn't talk for long -- that Jo(e)y said she was going to the library at UCLA to study and was going to be home late. Fearless asks if they got into an argument about Zach Berman. Mr. Lam nods quickly and says, "No." Wahlberg asks if he went into her computer and "saw the video of her and Zach[sic]." Mr. Lam says he doesn't know how to work a computer. Suddenly he's smoking, the true mark of the villains on Boomtown. He's awkwardly smoking with his RIGHT HAND, holding it so high that he has to lift his head to smoke it, just so we see his RIGHT HAND in the air. Wahlberg immediately takes the seat vacated by Fearless. "I think you do, Mr. Lam," he says. "See, you're right-handed." Mr. Lam: "So?" Wahlberg: "So, I'm left-handed. So is your daughter Jo(e)y. I remember the picture from the bedroom. She's a southpaw, just like me. Which means, she would have kept the mouse to her computer on the left-hand side of the keyboard, just like me. But when I went into her bedroom to check her computer, the mouse was on the right-hand side." Wahlberg's practically shouting now: "Which means the last person to use her computer was right-handed! Just like you!" Now, Wahlberg, quickly: A man lives on the eighteenth floor of a high-rise apartment. Every day he rides the elevator down to the first floor to go to work. But when he gets home, he only goes to the eleventh floor, and then walks the remaining flights of stairs. Why does he do this? Come on, Mensa, do your shit!

Boomtown

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