Berman's house. McPointy's sad, wet, patheticness is at the door. Berman answers. "It's your fixer!" McPointy screams. He walks in and says he wants to take Berman up on that cocktail. Berman: "Well, somehow I think you've already had enough." Lord, these lines. McNorris: "Oh, on the contrary. I think I've just begun." SHUT UP. Berman offers to get McNorris a towel for his bleeding criminal hand, but McNorris doesn't want one. He's too busy breaking laws to stop now. "I kind of like it," he says. Berman asks what he can do for him. Instead of answering, McNorris totally pants and gasps, rain pouring down his face as he just keeps talking: "You know what the most amazing part of this whole mind-blowing day was? Seeing the look on your face when you found out your kid wasn't a murderer. 'Cause it wasn't relief. It was surprise." First of all, it's been like, three days. And secondly, you're the one who convinced him that his kid did it in the first place! "You just couldn't imagine that your son would be different from you, because you know that you probably would have done it so you just assume your son would do it too?" Berman tells McNorris to leave, prompting the worst line in the history of television: "Not all boys turn out like their old men! It's not inevitable!" McNorris then starts punching Berman over and over again until Zach comes down the stairs and screams for McNorris to leave his dad alone. Not one security man. No Mrs. Berman. Just father and son, bleeding and crying. McNorris keeps punching Berman over and over, still repeating the horrible line in bits and chunks. "Not all sons!" he shouts, being just like his old man. Zach can somehow pull McNorris off with just one arm as McNorris bellows, "IT'S NOT INEVITABLE!" Y'all. This show sucks. Zach wants to call for medical attention, since Berman broke his nose, but Berman stops him to utter the second-worst line in the history of television: "No, no, no! Just! Just stay here. Just stay here with me." McNorris has a quiet moment, admiring how he brought father and son together at last. The camera goes into slow motion as McNorris bellows at the sky, yearning for a simpler time, when his worst part of the day was getting more cream cheese for Tom Cruise before they shot another scene. Oh, man. It's so horrible. For those of you who just read the recaps now and don't watch the show, you're so fucking lucky. This slow-motion, stop-action exit shot is just ridiculous.
Episode Report CardPamie: F | 567 USERS: C+
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