Boomtown

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | 586 USERS: C+
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Inside Joy's room, Fearless pulls an enormous Laura Ashley dress out of a weirdly lit closet and insults Joy by saying she wasn't much of a "fashion plate." Now, we saw the size of that girl; there's no way she wore that tent. And have you seen the zip-up Members Only velour get-up you're wearing? You ain't P. Diddy yourself, Fearless. Wahlberg thumbs through a pile of CDs and declares Joy to be "neat," even though he's thumbing through a stack of CDs that appear to be piled on top of her boombox, un-neatly. Wahlberg adds that the room is "like a museum," but we can see for ourselves that it isn't. Why just lie to us like that? How stupid do they think we are? Fearless storms off to talk to Mr. Lam, all angry and intense. There are some incredibly tiny school-uniform clothes hanging in the back of the room on some kind of rack. Are they doll clothes? What the hell are they doing there? Wahlberg walks over to Joy's pristine desk, sees her computer, and grabs a picture frame. It's a picture of Joy in a baseball uniform. We know this is supposed to be sad because of the forlorn piano in the background, reminding us that a young girl's life has been taken away way too soon. That Fearless -- he's totally clairvoyant, being able to see this scene.

Back to the actual Fearless, and not his subconscious: he asks Mr. Lam if he ever goes back to Vietnam. Fearless just won't let this Vietnam thing go, huh? Mr. Lam shuts his Bible (yeah, we're gonna get that clichéd, folks), and stands up. Awkwardly, Fearless and the camera guy stand up at the same time. Everybody rises for Mr. Lam to say that he's been in America almost thirty years now, twenty-two of them as an American citizen. "We have no reason to go back," he says. He excuses himself from the room so that Fearless can stare awkwardly into space.

Okay, now we're at the school known as Chilton on Gilmore Girls, but here it's Blah-Blah Academy. Fearless is asking some students questions, and McPointy walks past, calling Fearless's name. They walk toward the entrance of the school as Fearless fills McPointy in on the details. Apparently, everybody at the school liked Joy.

Cut to another section of the exterior of the school, and I guess Fearless is done filling McPointy in. Ray and Gedrick are standing there as Ray says that nobody seems to know much about this girl. But didn't Fearless just spend five minutes reading from his notebook? Gedrick says that if they know anything, they don't want to talk about it. "Yeah, that's what I'm getting," Fearless says. "Me too," Wahlberg says, appearing from nowhere. Ray pulls out a pair of pink panties that he found in Joy's locker. Ray's also an aficionado when it comes to women's lingerie. This Italian silk thong is apparently worth a pretty penny, and according to Ray, any woman feels like a princess with silk string jammed in her ass cheeks. Note: this is a man's opinion. I don't care if this episode was written by a woman -- she's wrong. Then, for no reason they've bothered to explain to us in the past nine episodes, Ray starts leaning into McPointy about how he can't keep his wife happy. McPointy walks off, everybody takes a moment, and then Fearless and Wahlberg wander off, deep in thought. Fearless makes the brilliant observation that the hot pink underthings don't exactly match the rest of Joy's frumpy wardrobe. Fearless immediately decides that she must have had an after-school job to help pay for that. For the one thong? Wahlberg makes the more obvious guess that they might have been a gift. Paris asks Louisa and Fraulein if they can get Rory to study on Saturday...sorry. Got carried away with the background.

Boomtown

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