The David McNorris Show

Episode Report Card
Pamie: F | Grade It Now!

Okay, so now we see weird footage of Jo(e)y getting into bed with someone, and it's the same outfit that Ray finds in Jo(e)y's locker, the one that she's wearing in the video, so it can't be the day that she got killed.

"J-J-Joy!" Mr. Lam cries, cliched-ly.

We see J-J-Joy and Z-Z-Zach having a non-sex moment. This music is awful.

Mr. Lam cries.

Jo(e)y kisses Zach.

Mr. Lam cries.

Jo(e)y rolls in bed with Zach's head between her hands. It's pretty damn PG, folks.

Mr. Lam's crying, spilling like the sick bucket on a Carnival Cruise ship: "So, I followed her. And...when I found her naked...I lost my mind and I...did what I did." We see Mrs. Lam crying in the background, still pretty tame considering her daughter's murderer is right there. If she was naked when he found her, did he put her clothes back on her after he killed her? And why did he stop with just her panties? And why aren't his prints all over the room, if it was an act of rage? And if she was naked, who was she having sex with? Where was he?

The writers don't care about these questions, so we watch the fireplace poker come down repeatedly into Jo(e)y's off-camera body.

Fearless concludes, offensively: "Someone in your family was a prostitute. Back in Saigon? Mr. Lam? Was it, your, your mother?"

Shot of a soldier walking someone into a "dirty sex room." Fearless continues in voice-over, inappropriately, "Your, your sister?"

Mr. Lam counts to one hundred and forty-nine and we see a clip of a solider walking a young Vietnamese boy into the "dirty sex" room before he gives his (by now) way-obvious answer, trying to drown out the insulting Music of the Me So Horny Orient: "Me!" Then we have to watch the actor playing Mr. Lam sob because they do not write roles for Asian people with a single shred of dignity in them.

David McNorris. Again? Aren't we done? Dammit! We're in an actual McPointy POV as he walks up to the celebrating Berman and crew. They're all drinking by the pool, calling McNorris the Man of the Hour. McNorris is soaking wet, wiping rain from his dripping face as they stand by a full-length window showing the pouring rain outside and we hear thunder as Berman asks, "It start raining yet?" Brilliant. McNorris says it just started, which is strange, since we saw it raining earlier when McNorris was threatening to call the cops. McNorris asks for a glass of water. "Bubbles or flat?" Berman asks, and for some reason everyone cracks up like that's the best joke ever told. Berman tells McNorris to think twice about being a DA, since he'd do a whole lot better being behind the scenes, getting things done. They call him The Man, the Fixer. They toast to David as he drinks from a tiny blue bottle of water. Then suddenly everything fades away as McNorris closes his eyes and sad music plays and he gets really quiet like actors like to do when they're wet and playing "tortured by inner greed."

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