The David McNorris Show

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Pamie: F | Grade It Now!

Cut to the Lams' house, as Mrs. Lam brings Wahlberg and Fearless a pot of tea. Wahlberg asks if Joy had a boyfriend. I think her name is Joy. Mrs. Lam says that Joy had no time for such silly things as boys: "She was busy with school, and her church group." She adds that she went to First Lutheran. "'Lam,' that's Vietnamese," Fearless brags again. "That's right," says stoic, stereotypical Asian Bad Dad -- who's too strict and angry, who thinks girls should study hard and be good daughters, and not have social lives with boys, who cues the Asian Pan Flute of the Orient whenever he speaks. Fearless asks whether Joy spoke the language. Mr. Lam says they speak English in their home and there was no reason for Joy to learn Vietnamese. Wahlberg asks Mrs. Lam to sit. As the two of them sit, Fearless stands up at exactly the same moment. Now if only Mr. Lam could decide to go down on one knee, you have an old improv game we used to play called "Sit, Stand, and Lean," where you try to screw up your partner by forcing him or her to change positions while you're talking. It looked just as awkward as this scene, too! Wahlberg asks Mrs. Lam whether she has any idea why Joy was at that party. "She told us she was at the library," Mrs. Lam says. Wahlberg asks if they understand that the police found her, naked, bloody, sexy. "And it looks like she was there voluntarily," Wahlberg just comes right out and says, with no real proof of that, especially since she wasn't naked. What, because she died with a smile on her makeup'ed face? What the fuck ever. Try a rape kit, asshole, before you start saying the girl wanted it. Mr. Lam calls "enough" and stands up, leaving Fearless to have to lean. It also cues the Asian Orient Flute of Bad Fatherhood and Suffering. Mr. Lam storms out of the room to go clean his alibi, while Mrs. Lam tells Fearless that it's very difficult.

Inside Joy's room, Fearless pulls an enormous Laura Ashley dress out of a weirdly lit closet and insults Joy by saying she wasn't much of a "fashion plate." Now, we saw the size of that girl; there's no way she wore that tent. And have you seen the zip-up Members Only velour get-up you're wearing? You ain't P. Diddy yourself, Fearless. Wahlberg thumbs through a pile of CDs and declares Joy to be "neat," even though he's thumbing through a stack of CDs that appear to be piled on top of her boombox, un-neatly. Wahlberg adds that the room is "like a museum," but we can see for ourselves that it isn't. Why just lie to us like that? How stupid do they think we are? Fearless storms off to talk to Mr. Lam, all angry and intense. There are some incredibly tiny school-uniform clothes hanging in the back of the room on some kind of rack. Are they doll clothes? What the hell are they doing there? Wahlberg walks over to Joy's pristine desk, sees her computer, and grabs a picture frame. It's a picture of Joy in a baseball uniform. We know this is supposed to be sad because of the forlorn piano in the background, reminding us that a young girl's life has been taken away way too soon. That Fearless -- he's totally clairvoyant, being able to see this scene.

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