Boomtown

Episode Report Card
852 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
This One's For the Children

Cut to an indeterminate amount of time later, when the idiot widow is looking at Albert in his coffin. The funeral parlor is empty, but the organ music's playing away like a service is going on. Charlie walks in, beaming from ear to ear, saying that he did it. Ray cuffs him as Charlie auditions to be a Stars Hollow diner patron.

David McNorris. Wahlberg doesn't want Lara to testify, but McNorris has been trying to nail Solonick for six years, and this little girl's the closest thing he's ever had. Wahlberg says again that the mother said that Lara couldn't testify, so McNorris tells Wahlberg to change the way she's thinking. Fearless reminds him that the little girl could get killed if she testifies. McNorris says he'll arrange for protective custody. Wahlberg cracks that protective custody never goes wrong. McNorris says they don't have any other choice. Wahlberg tells him that this is the Russian mob, and not a softball team. They have a code to kill anyone who crosses any line: "All of them, including ten-year olds." Wahlberg, Fearless, and McNorris walk down a hallway at breakneck speed as Wahlberg accuses McNorris of being a cold-blooded killer willing to kill a child to lock up one man. McNorris explains that what he does keeps us from getting raped and robbed whenever we walk outside. Wahlberg interjects a joke about how nobody walks in L.A. as Fearless zones out again. Fearless says they're going to bring in Solonick, but that they won't use the girl. McNorris says they should bring in Solonick, but that they might have to use the girl. I'm so bored. Fearless and Wahlberg look longingly at each other. Lara and her mother sit in the interrogation room as fake Russian music plays in the background. I never thought I'd miss the sad piano.

Charlie. He explains that he stole Albert's body from the funeral home. We watch his clumsy break-in via Flashback Film as he tells us it wasn't that hard, and that he was flying "Hans Solo." As he tells us how easy it was and how it was all under control, Flashback Film shows us just how difficult it was to haul around a dead body. Just in case we couldn't tell that this was supposed to be "comedic," they pipe in the wacky oboe and violin, as if once again we're watching a Looney Tunes cartoon instead of a Prime Time Cop Drama. Insert bad wrestling joke here as Charlie once again auditions to be the poor man's Kirk.

Boomtown

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP