The Freak

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This One's For the Children

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but man, there's nothing more insulting than a bad impression. This episode hits such a low that I just want to get this recap over with, out of the way, gone. Let's go.

The teaser tells me that this episode will feature "Boomtown's finest hour." Having seen the episode, I shudder to think what the future hours will bring.

We open at our Six Feet Under rip-off -- two cool guys in their cool hot tub, talking about how cool it is to be them. They're losers. They keep reminding us of that by saying that they're guys from Omaha and that Southern Chic works well in Hollywood, with model girls going for those straw-chewin' yokels. The idiot in the goatee brags that he got his wife-beater tanline from his convertible. In the background, we see cars drive by, because this "hot tub" is just a wooden barrel sitting on the front lawn of some apartment complex, I think. Goatee points out that the "white thing" they can see through the trees is the bottom of the "Y" of the Hollywood sign. From a million miles away? Because judging from this location, I just don't think so. Suddenly, there's a boom sound, and Goatee brushes it off as some noise his neighbor's always making, instead of acknowledging that some kind of explosive or cannon just went off. Yeah, so now we see that this really is a wooden barrel in the parking lot of an apartment building no fancier than the Karate Kid's. Suddenly, a body falls right into the barrel. It's the stupidest thing in the world for the following reasons: the body actually makes a whistling sound as it falls, as if Wile E. Coyote has fallen off another cliff; the sky shot doesn't involve any mountain, which is how you know these assholes are nowhere near the Hollywood sign; the guys hover and scream "Oh, God!" as they watch the body fall towards them, not even trying to get out of the hot tub, somehow knowing that it's a body falling on them; it's another fucking episode of Boomtown where we watch a body fly through the air from below; the body falls directly into the hot tub like it's been aimed there; it's the opposite effect of the boulder scene at the beginning of Sexy Beast; Goatee tries to splash the body out of his hot tub. In short: lame. And I've put more thought into this scene here than these writers did over the past five months.

Lara. Russian restaurant. A young girl is sent out to give Mr. Solonick his check, "whatever he pays."

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