Boot Camp

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Kim: A | 492 USERS: C+
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Over in the women's bunk, Coddington is helping Recruit "Don't Make Me Think About Her Groin" Haar into her clothes. DI McSweeney appears and asks whether Haar is any better today. Haar says that the pain medication is helping. DI McSweeney says that he doesn't "speak Midwest." He goes on to say that he asked if she was getting better, and makes the analogy that if his arm got blown off, and he got morphine, the medication might help but it wouldn't bring his arm back. I think DI McSweeney has seen a few too many war movies. Haar answers that she thinks she's getting better. In an interview, Haar says that it's frustrating because everyone is looking at her and thinking that she's a cripple. She even told the others that they could call her Recruit Cripple, because that's what she is. Well, at least she's honest about it. I can't fault her attitude.

The men are in the head, using the toilets and brushing their teeth. Not at the same time! Recruit "Hungry Like The" Wolf says, in an interview, "I refuse to poop. I can't! It's too scary." Wolf says that there is no door and no toilet paper. Does any men's room have stall doors? This is a phenomenon that requires further study. Do they get ripped off? Or are they just not installed in the first place? Anyway, Wolf reveals that they only have ten seconds to go to the bathroom, and that he can accomplish one excretory function in that time limit. I'll let you fill in the blanks. That just doesn't seem healthy, though. Wolf says, "I don't know anybody that can poop in ten seconds. Period. It's probably not even in Guinness!" Enough with the potty talk, Wolf! Man.

We see Recruit "No Pun Intended" Pupo pulling up her pants in a stall. In an interview, she says that if she needs to, she'll take a minute and a half to make a "sitting head call," even if the DIs only give her forty-five seconds. She figures that they're going to yell at her no matter what she does, so she might as well take her time. She's got a point. Pupo giggles with some of the other female recruits as we hear her say, "You might as well go out there with a clean butt." Words to live by.

6:30 AM. Morning Chow. The recruits file in and sit down when DI Taylor orders them to. DI Francisco asks for "eyeballs," and then informs everyone that they're going to choose their next squad leader "amongst ourselves in a democratic fashion." In an interview, Recruit "The Male One" Moretti says that the men knew that the women weren't happy last week, so he suggested to his friends that they elect Recruit "Again, Who?" Hutak as the squad leader to show their confidence. Everyone agrees that Hutak should be the leader. Recruit Moretti points out to the viewing audience that if Hutak fails, they can "boot her." DI Taylor gives Hutak the "orange squad-leader shirt." In an interview, Hutak says that she wanted to go to boot camp when she was eighteen, but she went to college instead, and then she got a job, so boot camp didn't really fit in. But now she feels like she's getting the chance to have this experience. Her eyebrows are perfect half-circles. Hutak addresses the recruits, telling them that they need to work out a new squad formation. In an interview, Coddington says that Hutak is "so gung-ho" and is there for the boot camp experience. Coddington came to have "a unique experience" and to "try to win the prize." Finally, some honesty.

Boot Camp

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