Boot Camp

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Kim: A | Grade It Now!

After a Survivor-style quick zoom, Wolf says in an interview that "the game is intermixed with boot camp," and that "boot camp kicks your butt." I think this guy is anally fixated. 8:00 AM and time for physical training. The recruits lie on their backs and do bicycle kicks. I have flashbacks to high-school softball practices. God, I hated those. And the wall sits. Lauder is having trouble doing the push-ups. In an interview, Recruit "Not Just A Housewife" Moretty says that Lauder is exhausted and going to have a heart attack. Lauder strains during the bicycle kicks and takes a long time getting up afterwards. In an interview, Lauder says that they'll have to carry him to "the med place" before he quits. Foreshadowing? Who knows? Cut to Lauder lying sprawled out on his cot. Recruit "More Bo Than Jesse" Jackson says that he's old, and Lauder points out that he is twenty-two years older than Jackson. Lauder concludes that he thought he was tough, but he was wrong, and now everyone is going to see it.

Night Five. 7:15 PM. Sunset. The recruits troop out to a pier to watch the sunset. The DIs repeatedly ask them if the sunset is beautiful. In an interview, Hutak says that the DIs didn't know what sunsets meant to her, and then tells a teary story about how she used to go surfing with her family (including her sister), and they would watch the sunset together, and now her sister's dead. They're trying for the pathos of last week with Haar running, but it's not working on me. I think it's the overblown background music. It's like a bunch of operatic female voices singing Gregorian chants or something. It's all distracting me from the "moment." And then there's a commercial, so any emotion I had going is gone anyway.

After the commercials, we see a quick shot of an alligator, and I guess the editors are trying to fool people into thinking that they're watching Survivor for a few minutes. Day Six. 8:20 AM. Strength Training. Hey, DI Rosenbum is back! I was wondering where he was. I missed him! The recruits do pull-ups. Pupo tells DI McSweeney that she didn't do any pull-ups and he orders her out of his face. The other recruits cheer Coddington on as she manages one pull-up. Hey, that's one more than I would have gotten. DI McSweeney is disgusted that Coddington only did one, since Hutak did eight. Recruit "Evil" Meyer reports that his shoulder hurts, so he doesn't know if he can do the pull-ups. DI Francisco tells him that he's lucky that his shoulder's the only thing that hurts, and orders him to try. Meyer hops up and does one pull-up, but then "can't" do anymore. In an interview, Meyer says that boot camp is physically "a joke for [him]." DI Taylor yells at Meyer, wondering why he isn't laughing now. Also, I don’t think Meyer is wearing any underwear. I'm just saying. Back in the interview, Meyer admits that he was faking the shoulder injury. He loudly says, "I'm not sore at all," just as another recruit jogs by on the path behind him. Meyer stops and looks around, and then says sarcastically, "Well, that's great." Ha! Meyer continues to "try" to do a pull-up and fails. In an interview, he explains that he and others like him (who?) just want to have fun, so they're going to vote out the people who are all serious and then "sneak out in the middle of the night" and party. Yeah, that'll happen. I don't think he quite understands the rules of the game, does he? Meyer says that he wants to kick out "the people who are annoying." So he's going to vote for himself, then? Meyer reports to DI McSweeney that he can't remember how many pull-ups he did, and DI McSweeney says that he's going to put down none.

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Boot Camp




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