Boot Camp
Meet The Recruits

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Meet The Recruits

The show starts with a disclaimer: "The following program contains some coarse language. Viewer discretion is advised." All right! This is going to be my kind of fucking show!

I'm not sure if these are the credits (and thus we'll be seeing them every week) or just an introduction for the first episode. I guess I'll find out next week. Anyway, there's a montage of recruits running and climbing ropes and shit while an announcer voice-overs that Boot Camp is a "competitive game of elimination" (and I'm sure there's a poop joke in there somewhere) where "sixteen ordinary people" will undergo "grueling physical training" and "learn mental discipline." This training will come from "four actual Marine drill instructors," and in case you were wondering -- "they are not actors." Each week the squads elect a leader, and if they complete that week's mission successfully, the leader earns "amnesty." Each week, the squad members vote out one recruit; the person voted out then chooses another recruit to take along, which the announcer calls "the ultimate payback." That's an interesting twist, no? The final two recruits will compete in "The Gauntlet -- forty-eight straight hours of physical and mental tests, culminating in a final vote on Dismissal Hill." So they go through all these tests, and then they're eliminated by a vote? That seems pretty dumb. Shouldn't one of them "win" the test and thus win the grand prize -- $500,000? The Boot Camp logo comes up as the announcer intones, "Who will endure?" The recapper? Hopefully.

Oh, so now we get the credits. I guess that first part was just an introduction. We hear male voices singing out a cadence as we get shots of each recruit. Don't get too attached to these people, because two of them will be gone by the end of the episode. I was going to list out all the people as they are shown, but all we get in these credits is a name and a brief glimpse, so it doesn't seem worth it. As a picture of each recruit flashes on the screen, there's kind of a techno version of the cadence playing in the background, if you can imagine that. I think it's called "Left Right Left (the DJ Skribble Mix)."

And right into the action. It's Day 1, 6:30 AM, and a bus pulls up to the camp. Various recruits are snoozing in their bus seats. The drill instructors stand in formation, waiting for the recruits to arrive. As the bus pulls in, one of the instructors (we haven't been properly introduced yet) breaks formation and walks onto the bus, yelling, "Sit up straight. Get your eyeballs on me!" Basically, any time a drill instructor talks, just assume that he or she is yelling. They generally are. Recruit Katherine, who is wearing gigantic hoop earrings, blinks at him. He tells them that their training begins now. Another instructor enters the bus, and introduces himself as "Drill Instructor Rosenbum." Thank you! I'm going to start abbreviating Drill Instructor as DI, just so you know. He starts talking, and then interrupts himself to yell at a recruit, "Stop moving! Stop moving!" I don't know which recruit already got in trouble. DI Rosenbum informs the group that they will exit the vehicle on his command. After ascertaining that they do, in fact, understand him, he orders them off the bus.

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Boot Camp

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