DI Taylor, the only female DI, is going through a female recruit's suitcase, and says, "So you're just a housewife, huh?" The recruit, Moretty (and wouldn't you know they'd find two people with the same last name, save one letter?), responds, "No, I'm a military wife, ma'am." DI Taylor screams, "So that makes a difference?" DI Taylor hops up on the table so that she can get right in Moretty's face, and screams, "What's the difference between a military spouse and a regular spouse?" Recruit Moretty tries to say that she moves around a lot, but DI Taylor points her finger in her face and says, "Shut your skull."
In an interview, DI Rosenbum says that while they do yell at the recruits, they "probably take care of them much more." While we see more yelling, DI Rosenbum voice-overs that the whole point of processing is to break the recruits down physically and mentally, and then "build them all up as a team." Y'all, I think I have a little crush on DI Rosenbum.
The flabby guy who was first off the bus is Recruit Thomson. DI Taylor is processing him. She finds something in one of his sneakers and calls DI McSweeney over to check it out. It's a stuffed lemon. Oh, no. DI Taylor asks what it's for, and DI McSweeney suggests that it's a "model of [Thomson's] head." Hee! The two DIs get right up in Recruit Thomson's face and ask him what "Mr. Lemon" is for, and what it means to Thomson, who replies, "Mr. Lemon is a stuffed lemon." The DIs are all, "Okay. We get that." Recruit Thomson adds, "Mr. Lemon is just around to make for a nice atmosphere." Ha! I bet Mr. Lemon doesn't exactly smell lemony fresh anymore, after being stuffed in his sneaker.
Next up is a scene we all saw in the previews, but it's even better here. Recruit Yaney reveals that he is a balloon sculptor. That's a career? Like, full-time and shit? DI McSweeney asks if he brought any balloons and commands him to get some. Recruit Yaney makes a dog out of a balloon, but the tail is way too long. DI McSweeney asks "what kind of friggin' dog" it is. Yaney says it's a poodle. DI McSweeney grabs it and asks, "What happened to it's friggin' tail?" DI McSweeney proceeds to show Yaney what he thinks of the poodle by putting it into his mouth, biting it, and popping it. Then he screams at Yaney to get out of his face. I don't know how DI Taylor, who was standing nearby, kept a straight face.
DI Francisco talks to a young woman with curly hair -- Recruit Brown. He asks her why she's here, and she says that she wanted to see if she could do it. He asks how things are going, and she replies, "Fine, sir!" He asks if her it's just fine, and she replies, "Just great, sir!" He asks her if she's a little nervous, and she replies, "Sometimes, sir." DI Rosenbum sneaks over and yells in her ear (with not a small amount of spittle), "I thought you were having fun." To her credit, she doesn't visibly react, even though I don't think she heard him coming.