In the office, Steven and Scott have the same conversation about Darren Scofield again: "He called me a hack in a common area. I can take any criticism in the privacy of my own office, Steven, but to be so disparaged in a public…" Steven points out that "you provoked the fight. One might argue that you were interested in publicly undressing him." Okay. I rolled that back three times. He says "undressing." I think he means "dressing down," but he says "undressing." Then again, Scott's interest in publicly undressing Darren Scofield would explain the absence of a woman in his life. Blah blah blah Steven tells Scott to keep his muscle in check: "If you speak thoughtfully people will be more inclined to listen. That's been my experience."
Steven goes into his office, followed by Scott, both of them wondering what that scene was for. The Bus Lady is waiting for them. The Exposition Fairy appears and says, "I meant to tell you she was in here." Then she leaves. Wow, not only has she not had a story line since November, she's not even good at providing exposition anymore. Ms. Roening is angry, because that is the only emotion she is capable of experiencing. "Do you and I have a problem, Mr. Harper? If you have an issue with me I prefer you to take it up with me. But to humiliate my daughter…" Steven tells her to hold on, but instead she keeps talking. "Did you walk up to her and her friends, ask their names, and says, 'Nice to meet you. Don't do drugs'?" Steven admits that he did behave in this ludicrous manner. But we know, see, 'cause we were there. Steven doesn't quite see what Ms. Roening is so upset about: "I introduced myself, yes, but to say hello!" Ms. Roening has difficulty believing this, preferring instead to believe that Steven was engaging in some kind of underhanded sarcastic attack on the Bus Lady via her own daughter. She is not a logical creature, adhering as she does to the less likely of the possible explanations. "You're a coward! Maybe playing bully against students is an effective way of getting back at annoying parents." Um. What? What did he do that could be construed as "bullying"? Was it the part where he told Marie that he'd heard wonderful things about her, or the part where he said it was nice to meet her and her friends? Or, as Steven puts it, in the highest register Chi McBride has ever reached: "I went up to your damn daughter in part because you accused me of not knowing the good kids! And, in fact, it's lousy incentive to meet the good kids, if the consequences are arrogant, indignant mothers who'll use any excuse to come in and pick fights under the guise of being a concerned parents. I think you've been sniffin' a few too many bus fumes yourself!" Then he kisses her. No, he doesn't, but I suspect he will in a later episode. For now, she sniffs with arrogant indignance, and storms out. Scott nods, impressed by this display of thoughtful self-expression. "Don't even say it, Scott." Scott looks comfortingly at Steven, and says gently, "You know, we get this way towards the end of every year, Steven." Aw, whatever -- why don't you just invite the guy to go on a cruise with you? "I was thinking about going on a cruise, but I'm loathe to get on one of those ships alone. Would you consider going on a cruise with me?" No, really, he says that. There's not really a joke I can make that would render this invitation any funnier. Except to say that I guess Scott's interested in, as it were, publicly undressing Steven, too.
The gym. It's the wrestling finals, and cheer-litas spin flags around to tough urban beats. In the crowd, Lauren and Marilyn make their way up into the stands. Lauren pecks Harry hello on the cheek, and then greets his neighbor -- Kevin "Lamprey" Riley, a coach no longer. Something about Kevin's hair, and the slurred way he greets Lauren and Marilyn, makes it seem like he had a lobotomy since getting fired. Watch it again with that in mind, and then tell me I'm wrong. They make small talk about Kevin's new school ("Nobody shoots at you." "Oh, that's clever.") and then the odd-looking flag dance is over. The announcer introduces Christine's opponent, a 240-pound senior defending state champ with a record of 46-0. Then he introduces Christine, who is, as she said, also undefeated, but she's 8-0, so that's kind of a disingenuous comparison. She also, apparently, weighs 297 pounds. Damn. In the crowd, Harry says to Kevin, "You've gotta be feelin' good about this." Kevin says, "Yeah, and you're not gonna let me, are ya?" I don't know what that means. Harry's the one who just brought it up, and he says, "Hey, I'm here." Kevin says, "Shut up," and punches him. Well, he doesn't, but it would make as much sense as his previous line. People cheer, and point, and the wrestlers lock up. Relatively quickly, the state champ flips Christine and sends her crashing to the mat so powerfully that it's rendered in slow-mohair. Ouch. Not a good job by the Blob. But the match is not over yet.