The hallway, Ronnie, Marla, and Marilyn walk down the hall debating the evils of the prom, which are legion. Ronnie concludes, "I think the dark side of the prom greatly outweighs the happy memories. I can totally see why some schools no longer have them. I say ban the prom. I'm on board." Meanwhile, Scott flags down Lauren, trying his best to keep his voice normal, but it still sounds kind of resonant and Shakespearean. He engages her in some small talk about the prom decorations, and then gets down to business. "I'm going. And you're going, too, of course. Listen, um. Since I'm going, and you're going, and parking threatens to be what if we go together?" Lauren's all, "To the parking?" BWA HA HA! Lauren was funny! Then she asks if he's asking her on a date, and he flounders, and then she says, "I'd love that." And he says great. Then he faints, and crashes to the floor.
Boston by night.
"How the hell do you faint?" Steven is asking Scott a reasonable question. He says he doesn't know, but that he could use Steven's support. "I'm afraid I could go down for the count again." Steven wants to know what it is about Lauren, finally, that's so great. Scott's all, "Well. Though Meredith was certainly an attractive woman, I don't think I've ever been on a date before with a stunning beauty." Just then, The Shoe Lady comes in. No, really, I'm serious. "Smell that slipper! It's not enough that you people try to put on a gay smutty play." "Try" being the operative word; I guess they never actually performed it. "Now you're nominating drag queen transvestites to be prom queen." Steven decides to try a totally new tactic, and says that all the outrageous things that happen at the school have just been pretext. "A pretext for what?" "For you. Oh yeah. You know ever since the first time I laid eyes on you, I've been trying to get in a room with you any way I can. You are so sexy, I can't stand it. Look at you. The way you smell. Your skin. Your delicate tender face -- Mrs. Parks, I want you. I'm gonna make you my woman." Scott is cracking up in the background. The Shoe Lady says, "Smell it! I know sarcasm when I hear it! That was fa-ce-tious AND ness. Smell that slipper! I'm going to the school board, that's what I'm gonna do. We don't need a smutty principal who engages in smutty sex talk." She leaves. Scott tells Steven he doesn't know if that was wise. "I don't care. I'm sick of that woman." Hey, ME TOO. I used to like her and then YOU RUINED HER, YOU STUPID SHOW! Anyway, Lauren comes in looking swanky, and Steven holds Scott up by his arm. Pleasantries are exchanged, and Scott and Lauren walk off arm-in-arm.