The Dungeon. Harry introduces the new teacher, Juan, to the class. He's all, "It's good to be back. Now, I promised Mr. Senate I'd take this seriously, and I'd appreciate you doing the same." Some girl pipes up, "Already soundin' like a teacher." There is a mass "uh-huh...mm-hm" from the class. Anthony Heald sneaks into the back of the room. Juan says, "I want to discuss a problem that concerns us all. Those four little words we all fear: Pre Mature Ejacu Lation." The class hoots and hollers. Anthony Heald leaves, I guess because the topic of Juan's lecture hits too close to home. Harry Senate buries his head in his hands, thinking, "What in god's name does it take to get fired from this damn school? A thousand bucks says I'm back here next week. Also, Juan, you jackass, that's only two words."
The stairwell. Lauren finds John LaBlonde sitting alone. "I'm still working on him," she says, meaning Principal Hard-Ass. John wants to know if the Magnet Club ever accepts applications without the Principal's endorsement, and she says no. Um, I wonder if there's, oh, any other scholarships in the nation he might apply for? Perhaps thousands of them? Anyway, Lauren says, "A month ago I was telling Jason Harrelson life is more than football. It's also more than academics. And I know how disappointed you are, but I think..." John says, "I'm in love with you." Then he says, "Awkward pause. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I'm so sorry. Awkward pause." Lauren says she doesn't know how to respond, and John says she doesn't have to, and he isn't expecting her to, and it just kind of came out. He's sweet; a nice kid. I hope nothing bad happens to him at the end of the episode. "I see a shrink, you know," says John, "and I talk about it with him." Lauren asks what the shrink says. Nosy bitch. "That I find safety with you," says John, "Security. That it's not all that uncommon." Lauren looks like she, too, is ready to say something about security, only louder, but instead she offers, "You know, I had a crush." John says, "It's not a crush, Ms. Davis, I'm in love with you." She says she's very flattered. John's all, "He says the depth of the attraction usually coincides with how vulnerable I feel on other stuff. I guess, losing the Magnet Club Award...makes sense." Lauren agrees. John asks if he can put his head on her shoulder. Lauren lets him. This was a very, very good scene. Poor John LaBlonde.
Commercials. I don't care how many times they zoom in on Jessica Alba's forlorn features, I will not watch Dark Angel.