Lauren's classroom. Lauren is giving the low-down, so to speak, to Susan "Blow-lita" Potter and Peter "Full" Nelson on their situation. "If you go to Guber, we'll be suspended," whines Susan. Lauren is not deterred. "Shouldn't candidates be engaged in debate?" she says. Peter chimes in, "School politics aside...we're friends." Lauren says that that's certainly how it looked. "I have a boyfriend," says Susan, "and if this gets out..." Peter says, "Not to mention, with both of us suspended on election day, Jerry Schlum will get elected. He's ahead in the polls as it is, and now...do you know Jerry Schlum?" No, but with a last name like that, he's bound to be fat and annoying, right? Also, polls in a high-school campaign? As if. In addition, if this Schlum character is so awful, then why is he ahead in the (snerk) polls? I mean, it's not as if voters could be persuaded to support a really undesirable candidate, with a history of alcoholism and drug addiction, whose dangerous ignorance on all issues and knee-jerk conservatism will wreak havoc on both our prosperous economy and jeopardize important strides made on social issues during the last eight years, right? Right?
Aaaanyhow, Lauren says, "I wouldn't be mud-slinging, Peter. I mean, you hardly looked presidential yourself." Actually, he did. Then Lauren says, "Actually, you did." DAMMIT. Peter smirks at this, and waggles an eyebrow, like, "I'm so the man for getting a hummer in the hallway." Susan gripes about the humiliation factor, and Peter plays the "everybody does it" card. Susan says, "It's not like we were kissing, or doing anything intimate." All right, students do have a more casual attitude these day about sex, but I challenge you to find more than a handful of people who will describe a blowjob as "not intimate," and actually mean it (trying to sound jaded doesn't count, and being a hooker also doesn't count). What I mean is, sure, Lauren Davis could be realistically surprised that so many teenagers do this sort of thing, but we the audience cannot be realistically convinced that they don't consider it "intimate." Once again, David E. Kelley has rapidly pushed a semi-plausible story line beyond the limits of credulity. ("Michelle, honey, I've asked you not to get under the desk while I'm writing...wait...never mind, stay there.") Meanwhile, back in the scene, Lauren is shocked and dismayed at this cavalier attitude towards intimacy, and doesn't know what to do with these crazy kids.