Boston Public
Chapter Four

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In which Fyvush Finkel says, "Beedle-deedle-deedle-dee"

Back in the auditorium, Ms. Souter is announcing that the total raised so far is around four thousand six hundred dollars. That's not so much. Maybe it would be more without all the elaborate sets for the show. Everyone cheers at the pathetic money. Ms. Souter calls up Anthony Heald to accept the check and present it to whatever disease foundation it is they're giving it to. "Once again, I think the students deserve recognition for their outstanding efforts," he says. He seems genuine, I guess because he recognizes the great skill of the kid who was imitating him. He starts to blather on about good causes when suddenly Ms. Souter and Ms. Hendricks sing a duet to him for no apparent reason. Everyone loves this "wacky surprise," but it kind of makes no sense. What the hell is going on? They do both sing great, though Marla sounds nothing like a sparrow.

Later, in the hallway, Lauren and Marilyn stride in step together. "How could you do that?" says Lauren. Ms. Souter says it was a joke. "But Guber? He has no sense of humor!" Wow, Lauren's really mean to the guy behind his back. "That's what made it funny." No, that's part of what made it weird. Anyway, Marilyn's all, "Just take me out for a beer and tell me what a great show it was." Lauren says she will, but first she's going to check up on Harvey.

The Dungeon. Juan is at Harry Senate's desk, clearly preparing for tomorrow's class. Harry comes in and says, "What's this?" Juan says, "I'm preparing for tomorrow's class." Apparently, he's going to teach about Ponce de Leon. Harry says, "Who does he play for? Kidding." Heh. Juan's all, "These history books don't talk about Puerto Rico. Why is that?" Harry says it's because they have Juan to talk about it, but I don't think that's what the textbook writers told themselves. Harry tells Juan he's proud of him, and Juan says, "Well, with LaBlonde out of the Magnet Club Award, I figured I might be back in the running." Yeah, but I'm sure John's just fine, right? Right?...Right? Juan says that Ponce de Leon was a premature ejaculator, then says, "Kidding." Aw, just like Harry says after a dumb joke. Someone's got a protégé.

Harvey's classroom. Lauren comes in to "congratulate" him, and ask if he's okay. "Why wouldn't I be?" Um, "No reason." But then he says, "Lauren. They were laughing, weren't they. You know? I always wondered about it. But my wife Helen said, no, they really do enjoy it." Lauren tells him students can be cruel to teachers. I'm sure he never noticed that in his FIFTY YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. You infant. Also, the students are enjoying his performance, in a different way, and he can take pride in that, I think. How awesome to be a twenty-year tradition, in any respect, right? "Personally, I think you're pretty good," says Lauren. Harvey acknowledges that the song is not right for the crowd, and vows, "Next year, I just do a different song." Why do I have the feeling I'll be right here, recapping it, next year when he does? Lauren's beeper goes off. Why does she have a beeper?

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Boston Public

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