Boston Public
Chapter Four

Episode Report Card
Key Grip: D | Grade It Now!
In which Fyvush Finkel says, "Beedle-deedle-deedle-dee"

Commercials. Good god, is this really only the second break? I'm going to cry.

Big Boy's office. Remember Big Boy? He's Mr. Lick, the guidance counselor Dana Poole had to meet with last week. He's also, I now realize, played by rapper Heavy D. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm fairly sure. Anyway, Big Boy is talking to Blow-lita about her campaign strategy. "Anything other than fellatio?" She says no. "Did he wear a condom?" She says, "You can't catch anything from oral sex, Mr. Lick." (Buttle. Lick. What's with the names at this school?) Anyway, he tells her she's wrong, and actually I doubt that a senior at a public high school in Boston wouldn't know that. Maybe in Utah, or wherever, but in downtown Boston? She'd learn the dos and don'ts before you can say Herpes Simplex B. "How long have you been sexually active?" says Big Boy. Blow-lita yells, "We weren't even kissing!" No comment. This warped ladder of sex acts is just too weird.

Teacher's lounge. Coach Kevin is grilling Milton about The Possible Proposition Fairy. "What do you mean 'maybe'? Either she asked you out or she didn't." Milton says, "It was more of a demand. And all the while she was calling me a wimp." Kevin asks if Milton wants to go out with her, and he's all, "Yeah. She's a woman. She's breathing. I'm going through a non-picky stage." Whatever, Milton. She's also feisty, bright, and totally hot. They move out into the hallway, where they cross paths with Marilyn and Lauren. For some reason, they feel the need to remind us about the non-conflict over the speeches happening in the auditorium. We follow the two ladies, who argue over who is going to break the news to Lipschultz that his song is the practical joke of the century. "He'll just accuse me of being black," argues Ms. Souter, "I promise you. He'll say that I don't like his song because he's Jewish, and I'm black." She's probably right. Marilyn asks what Lauren did about Blow-lita and her opponent. "I didn't report 'em," she says. "The fall-out would just be too big." Wait, so why was Blow-lita just talking to the guidance counselor? I'm confused. Oh, well. I don't have time to think about it, because now we're following Anthony Heald, who flags down Harry Senate: "There is a rumor spreading around like wildfire that you are allowing Juan Figgis to take over the role of teacher in your class." What are you afraid of, that he'll fire a gun in the classroom? I guess not, right? Anyhow, Harry explain he's just trying to keep the kid from dropping out. "Juan Figgis will respond to responsibility. I've got a feeling about this kid." Anthony Heald reminds Harry that he "can't afford to have anything else backfire." Harry promises that this won't. "May I sit in on this class?" Harry says yes, kind of, and walks away.

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Boston Public




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