Okay, y'all are really going to have to bear with me tonight as I humbly bow to Key Grip and his superior wit in dealing with this show week after week. All in all, I have to say this was a pretty boring episode, judging from what I've been reading in Key Grip's recaps.
Previously on Boston Public, Milton "Governor Bush, Your Re" Buttle gets caught giving a hands-on tutoring to a student. Coach "Life of" Riley is fired by Vice Principal "I Had More Hair In Silence of the Lambs" Guber because he didn't break the sound barrier to report Buttle's butt. Lauren tediously slits and pins open the skin and color-codes all the offal innards of her relationship with Harry while fending off unwanted mea culpa from Guber. Buttle and Riley leave the hallowed halls of learning that is Winslow High.
Music to make us think this is an inner-city school beats itself up. Big bad-ass galoshes that can only belong a Big Bad-ass Principal stomp off nonexistent snow as their owner glares at the students around him. His Big Bad-ass glare finds Guber leaning face first into a locker. Guber whips around and says all normal-like, "Oh, Steven, you made it through the snow. Excellent." "Why was your head in a locker?" Harper asks. Guber explains that six teachers resigned that morning in protest over Coach Riley's dismissal, and he felt the need for a "quiet haven." It's not a big thing, since the six names Guber rattles off aren't anyone we've met or even heard of. Although Guber places a sympathetic hand on Harper's chest when he says, "McTavish." Whoosh! What was that? Oh, just the reference going over my head. Do you think it'll come back and explain itself? Doubtful. But movin' right along, doog-a-doon, doog-a-doon, we'll learn to share the load. We really need a map to keep this show on the road. Apparently, all the teachers buggered off to a rival high school that originally promised not to interfere. Louisa jumps out of Harper's office to tell them that the Boston Pops are on the phone for Guber. What, all of them? Guber and Harper tell her to stop yanking them. Apparently she's not, so Guber picks up his phone and is told that he won a contest to be guest conductor for the Pops. Guber feels a sudden and inexplicable urge to visit the powder room, but thinks better of it and shakily sits down instead. Never has Guber reminded me more of John Cage. What disappointed me most in this scene was not the fact that, all week, promos shamelessly misled the viewers into believing that the teachers resigning were characters we actually knew, nor was it the fact that David E. Kelley didn't bother to check that the Boston Pops are not even in residence until spring; it's not even the depressing truth that DEK gets paid godzillions to recycle idiosyncrasies in his character creations. What really disappointed me was that Guber had no sign of a dent in his face from the locker. It's going to be a really long night, isn't it?