The Graduate is walking Lauren home from their drink. “I couldn’t believe it,” he’s saying, “I see this woman jumping up and down on her hood, and it’s you. You know I had the biggest crush on you. You’re figuring that out now, aren’t you?” Lauren, with surprising boldness, says, “Actually, um, I was thinking in terms of the present tense.” Okay, so two weeks ago she’s a woman so sensible that she dumps Harry Senate even though she loves him because she doesn’t think they’ll have a perfect marriage someday, and now she’s the kind of woman who smashes her own car on a crowded street and flirts with barely legal former students? I see. That makes perfect sense, actually. “Oh, it’s still there, trust me,” he’s going on, “but when I was a junior…how old were you, twenty-four years old?” Lauren demurs. “Yeah, there’s a really smart idea. Put a twenty-four-year-old woman who looks like you in front of a bunch of seventeen-year-old boys and ask them to concentrate on history.” Lauren says, “Well, you seem to have concentrated just fine. I mean, you’ve written a textbook at the ripe old age of…how old are you?” He says he’s twenty-one. Keep in mind, folks, that this is the same Lauren he took Jenna to task for motivating students using her ass, and who finished seventh in a poll of who students want to sleep with because they thought of her as a “nun,” until illegal video of her showering changed their minds. Just trying to keep track of the character "arc," people. Daniel is still talking. “Do you ever fantasize about your students fantasizing about you?” She says she tries not to dwell on it. Anyway, they’ve reached her place, and he says goodnight, and they both say they had a nice time. He says, “I keep thinking a bell is gonna ring, and you’ll dismiss me.” She says, “I don’t hear any bells.” Uh-oh. Someone get his boy a t-shirt that says “Graduate-lita,” 'cause that’s his new name.
Inside, to the shameless strains of Mrs. Robinson, as though a) the age difference is anywhere close, and b) this show is anywhere near as good as The Graduate, Daniel and Lauren make out, and strip, knock things over, and fumble their way to her bed.
Meanwhile, in the hallway at school, Anthony Ward is sitting against the locker and listening to the sounds of silence. Steven comes out of his office. “Anthony. Pretty late. What are you doing here?” Anthony says, “Sometimes when there’s nothing good on television, I like to come here and watch the lockers.” You know, this kid is so sarcastic that he’s really more like a young Harry Senate than a young Scott Guber. Or perhaps he’ll grow up to be the all-powerful fusion between the two. Steven says goodnight, not amused. Anthony says, “Sir? I came in here to say thank you. I know a lot of other principals would have tossed me for that list, even though…” Even though what, son? “It’s nothing. Writing out my anger is how I deal. I’m not a dangerous person.” Steven says okay. “How come we’re all suspects now? The…geeks.” Don’t forget the…freaks, Anthony. “How come people look at us like we’re criminals or monsters.” Steven, who was not there when Harry talked to Anthony, says, “Well, it’s like Mr. Senate said. We’re all…we’re all afraid. Can I give you a lift home?” Anthony says that at nine o’clock the lockers get really interesting. Hey, kind of like Fox, at nine o’clock on Monday’s, when this show ends.
Commercials. Where’s my mute button? Aaah. “The Sounds Of Silence.”