Hey, speaking of level heads, Anthony's is now a new shape, 'cause there's a big gash in his forehead that a doctor is stitching up. I guess he got some Dome Improvement. Ba-dum-bum. "Anthony, the worst has happened. He broke your head." But Anthony still won't talk.
Principal Bad-Ass knows who did it, though, and stalks the hallways back at school until he finds Malcolm White: School Bully. "Hey!" he says, "I just left Anthony Ward in the emergency room. Do you have any idea how he got there?" Best line of the episode: "I guess his parents probably drove him, sir." Steven, though, is not amused. Malcolm says that, not that he's admitting anything, but whatever happened to Anthony happened off school grounds, and is therefore none of the principal's business. When Malcolm tries to leave, Steven slams him against the lockers and yells, "Oh, you want to take a swing, is that it?" Uh, no, he was trying to walk away, but whatever. Anyway, Steven slams Malcolm White against the lockers over and over until Ms. Davis come out of a convenient nearby doorway and stop him. Principal says, "If Anthony Ward gets so much as a hangnail, I will take your head off." And books.
I think that David E. Kelley has the following taped to the wall above his desk: "How to threaten someone in dialogue: 'If you so much as [some extremely minor infraction], I will [some extremely major consequence].'" This is the second time he's used that construction and it sucked both times.
Down in the basement, Dana "Naughty Tail" Poole flags down Mr. Senate, who has for some reason not been dragged away from school grounds in chains. She says, "I need a favor. Jason Harrelson is a friend of mine, and if he doesn't play tonight --" Mr. Senate says there's nothing he can do, and Perky says that of course there is, and we learn that Mr. Senate is the other teacher failing Jason. Then she reveals to the audience what we've all already figured out, "If you don't pass him, our little secret might get out." Harry's all, "Our little secret could hurt you, too." But he knows he's beaten, and doesn't really need her to say, "Not as much as it could hurt you. I'm just an innocent student who didn't know better. You're a teacher." And with that, Ho-lita leaves Mr. Senate alone so that he can regret, a little bit, banging her, but still probably conclude that it was worth it, because you only live once. ["Dude, didn't he see Election?" -- Sars]













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