Previously on Boston Public: Mrs. Walsh smacked some kid's ass with a paddle; Mrs. Walsh asked Fyvush Finkel out for coffee using said paddle as an enticement; Anthony Heald fired Mrs. Walsh's ass and she threatened to sue; Webster spit in Lauren Davis's face and got suspended; Webster's mom yelled at Lauren; Harry and Lauren decided that dating each other would be a disaster and then they started to neck; Anthony Heald told Principal Steven that he's in love with Lauren.
Nighttime Boston. Tinkly piano music. Harry "Our Next President Might Be Strom Thurmond, The Oldest Member Of The" Senate and...um, Lauren, are out to dinner at a swanky restaurant. Snow drifts in big fake flurries outside. Lauren says, "So this is, like, a real date, Harry." Harry says, "Lauren, last week? That was a real kiss." Well, no, it was actually a stage kiss, but who cares. Then, this show suddenly turns into Boston's Creek, as Lauren says, "We can pass that off as the emotion of the moment," simultaneously butchering the English language and uselessly over-analyzing a stupid kiss. Harry asks if that's what she wants to do, and she says it isn't. So why'd you say it, jackass? I guess she was testing him, or something. Clever how he got out of it by making her answer the question herself. Then she says, "I don't know...I mean...it seems we're now dating." Yes, we see you out on a date, we're not blind. Except for the blind. But even they could tell that you were on a date back when Lauren said, "This is a date," five seconds ago. Harry and Lauren talk about whether they care who finds out, and Harry asks whether she'd have a problem with Scott Guber finding out. "What does Scott Guber have to do with anything?" Harry points, and sure enough, across the restaurant, sits Scott "Anthony Heald" Guber, dining with some woman, old enough not to receive a nickname ending in "-lita."
Scott is saying, "I can't remember the last time I was on a blind date." Okay, now they're just making fun of the blind, all of whom figured out long ago that we're in a restaurant watching a bunch of dates. "Well," says the lucky lady, "your brother told me you'd be shy. If not frozen with fear." Nice brother. Anthony Heald admits to being nervous. "I'm used to it," says his date. Then, she looks around for The Exposition Fairy. Not finding her, she says, "As a massage therapist, I deal with tense people all the time." Ms. Masseuse says that Scott looks particularly tense, and she can't imagine what it must be like to work in today's public high schools. We're all wondering too, because we know it's nothing like this exploitative sensationalistic show.