Boston Public
Chapter Sixteen

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In which Fyvush Finkel is asked, "Where are your pants?"

Props to the IRS. No need to audit me this year, folks. Please.

Previously on Boston Public: Anthony Ward was tied up hanging upside down outside the window; he was also put in a diaper and stuffed in a locker; he also pointed out that if he tells on his abuser, his head will be broken; Marla yelled that the students don't want to learn, and she's a teacher for god's sake; Tyron revealed to Harry that he's a murderer; Harry wouldn't talk to Lauren about Tyron, or about anything else for that matter; Anthony Heald told Principal Steven that he's in love with Lauren Davis (this is, officially, the most frequently used "previously" clip); Harry started a suicide club, for his students to talk about suicide, and said he'd talk to parents who complained.

The morgue. Harry "Big Fun" Senate leads his suicide club into the room, along with Jamaal (Remember? The kid who works at the morgue because Harry got him a job there?), and Morgue Friend (Remember? The guy Harry knows at the morgue who gave Jamaal the job? He has a name, too, that Harry said once. Remember it? 'Cause I don't), and they all troop solemnly over to a gurney with a white sheet over it. Morgue Friend is saying, "Now, if I get fired over this…" But Harry tells him to calm down. He gives Jamaal the nod to relate the relevant info, which Jamaal does thusly: "Seventeen-year-old male. Cause of death: single self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. That's the most common way. Gun." Some girl asks, "Did he leave a note?" "No," says Jamaal, who has now somehow apparently become an expert on the causes and methods of suicide just from being a morgue intern. "Only one third of people who commit suicide leave notes. This kid had some drug problems. He was probably depressed and stuff. Depression's really big with teenagers." Harry asks the class if they're ready, and says, "Listen, if anybody thinks they can't take it, they can go." One girl goes. Harry asks again, but the rest stay. He gives Jamaal the nod for phase two, and Jamaal pulls back the sheet. Everyone cringes. One girl vomits. Harry narrows his eyes ever so slightly, to indicate the profound emotions now coursing through him.

Opening vomits. Still no Milton, still no Kevin, but I am still not convinced. Until they replace them in the credits with, say, Jenna and Tina Knowles, I won't be sure that they're really off the show. But when that happens, I'll believe it, because I can buy a show canning dorky guys and adding more hot girls.

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Boston Public

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