Boston Public
Chapter Sixteen

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In which Fyvush Finkel is asked, "Where are your pants?"

He asks her the obvious question about sending her whole class to the principal's office, i.e. "what the fuck?" Marla explains that her classroom is too crowded, "so I decided I'd weed out the ones who didn't really want to learn. How was I to know it was everybody?" Steven takes a pause that would have made Mr. Katimski proud, and then asks, "Are you taking your medication?" Marla accuses Steven of thinking that everything in life comes down to a peach-colored pill. But that's kind of broad. He just thinks that her crazy lunatic nut behavior might come down to that. Which, of course, it does. Or, as Steven puts it, "You life comes down to it. You don't take your medication, you're no good to me. And teacher shortage or not, there's no place for you here." She says she's taking her pills, and insists that, yes, she sent her class away because the kids are coasting, and there's some standardized tests coming up, and blah blah blah I'm-a-crazy-maniac-nutcakes. Steven tells her she cannot send her whole class to his office, and, as he turns to go, she asks, "What's my limit?" Frustrated beyond all reason, Steven breathes deeply, and then says, arbitrarily, "Five. Any more than that makes me think the problem lies with you. I'm sending your class back in." He leaves. She sighs, trying to figure which five students she will immediately send back out in her next scene.

"Naked!?" We're in the teacher's lounge, where Marilyn begins a scene with Lauren by asking the preceding incredulous question. I guess DEK wrote this scene. Anyway, Lauren says, "Yes, naked, how do you shower?" Oh, man, this is my favorite scene ever so far. But then Marilyn says, "You don't need to snap at me." Instead of something like "Well, why don't I show you," or "I hate to shower alone," or "I didn't order a pizza," or, you know, some other line of the kind that would signal the start of a porno sequence. I'm told. By other, sick people who watch porn. Anyhow, Detective Souter observes that Lauren has been "real edgy, girl," long before the naked pictures of her began circulating. Harvey "someday, someone will punch him in the face, giving him a fat" Lipschultz is sitting in the background, and I've only now realized that him listening in on other people's private conversations in the teacher's lounge is, like, a running gag. I can't believe it took me that long to figure that out, but it's all so clear now. Anyway, he provides his two cents: "It's Harry. You two are at odds." Lauren yells back that they are not at odds. Harvey says, "Call me crazy then." A person would have to be very petty and cruel, not to mention lazy, to fire at a target that wide. Lauren says, "Oh, gee, I'd be the first to do that, wouldn't I?" Like, ha ha. Not. Harvey turns to her with sad-old-dog eyes and says, "That was hurtful." Marilyn, adjusting her newsy cap and puffing on her pipe, says, "It is Harry, isn't it?" Then she does some cocaine and tumbles to her death over a waterfall, entangled with her nemesis, Professor Moriarty. Aaaaanyhow, Harvey says, "Told you." And Lauren yells at him and storms out, while Marilyn nods to herself, with an expression of…what? Satisfaction? What a bitch. Harvey observes, "He doesn't communicate. Women like to be talked to. Harry doesn't talk."

The dungeon. Steven comes in, and Harry, writing some stuff on the board, says, "I don't want to talk about it." Get it? See? 'Cause he doesn't talk. Steven starts to tell him about the complaining parents, and Harry says, "You covered me." Steven points out that he never covered anything about taking kids to a morgue. Club, morgue. Potato, po-tah-to. Harry offers to talk to the parents himself, and Steven, doing my job for me, says, "I thought you were going to hold a class for them." Harry says, "I did, nobody came." Ah, how neatly we discard plot threads that prove untenable. Harry says that he'll have a little Q&A just with the parents who are complaining, to address their concerns, and Steven, clearly against his better judgment, acquiesces. "Excellent," says Harry. "Buddies again?" Steven walks out. Harry goes back to not talking, now that he's alone in the room.

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Boston Public

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