Opening discredits. Not many people know that Helen Keller, in addition to her other admirable abilities, composed music. She composed one piece of music, actually, and because she was blind and deaf, its notation is incomprehensible, and it sounds awful. It lay buried in the archives of her estate until it was unearthed by FOX during their search for Boston Public theme music. Now, hear it in all its glory.
This episode is guest-starring Heavy D, which means Mr. Lick will be back. That's good. I like Mr. Lick.
The hallway. A concerned parent is saying to Anthony "Scott Guber" Heald, "She won't talk about it, but I'm pretty sure she's being picked on." Anthony Heald jots this, or perhaps something else entirely, down on his clipboard, and says, "Mr. Banks, I assure you, I'll look into it." Mr. Banks tells Guber that his daughter would be upset if she knew he'd come to school to talk about this: "I told her I had some curriculum questions." Scott promises to investigate. Anthony Heald spots Principal Steven in the hall, and chases him down. "Lipschultz," he says. What-Now says, "What now?" Scott says, "I'd like to fire him." My-Office says, "My office." Just as Steven and his principal vice leave the hall, Coach Lamprey the Plot Parasite appears, being chased down by Harry Senate. "Kevin," says Harry -- because I guess, on the show at least, that's still Coach Lamprey's name. "Cheryl Holt's website has a cartoon of Milton boinking Lisa Greer. Do you know anything about that?" The Plot Parasite has to think about his answer. "No." "Why'd you have to think about your answer?" But Coach Kevin covers pretty well: "I was thinking about your question, Harry. It's ridiculous." Harry pursues the line of questioning anyway. "Are you concerned here, Harry, or jealous?" Harry says, "That's as funny as it is evasive." Which is a terrible line of dialogue masquerading as a clever one. Kevin pleads ignorance with finality, and walks away. Harry calls after him, "Nice mood, by the way. Hemorrhoids?" Oh, he's such a baby.
Marilyn Souter's classroom. A timid male student is reading a short story aloud. Okay, so I think I've got it now: Marilyn and Milton teach English; Harvey and Marla teach History; Lauren teaches Social Studies, or maybe History also; Kevin is the coach; and no one teaches Math or any of the Sciences. It's a liberal-arts high school. Anyway, the kid's story goes like this: "And as they looked into each other's eyes, he saw the reflection of the moon in her lusting pupils. Her lips were like red cherries. And he felt his heart like he'd never felt it before. Thump. Thump. And he knew it was the thump of love." Everyone laughs, and Marilyn says, "Hey, we do not laugh at each other's stories." But, apparently, we do. Some kid named Sam says, "The thump of love?" And everyone laughs again. Marilyn says, "Never mind." Wait, so, now she's giving the kids carte blanche to laugh at each other? Okay.