Chez Greer, where Milton is making his appeal to My-Fair-lita's parents. He allows that "the spectacle has caused some embarrassment, I'm sure." But: "I never took advantage of a teacher-student relationship. We never had such a relationship. She was never in my class. Also, as you know, when we began dating, I thought she was a student at Harvard." Waving his mammoth ears, Mr. Greer says, "If you came here looking for me to forgive you " But Milton cuts him off: "I didn't come here for that. I came here because I love her. And I believe she loves me. And with your blessing, I'd like to continue to see her." Lisa smiles, gratified. Awww.
The courtroom, where Anthony Heald is now on the stand. Once again, I will attempt to translate the legal terminology into more easily accessible, everyday speech. Scott says, "Kevin bad. He no tell on Milton." Ms. Stephanopolous asks, "Do rules say Kevin must tell on Milton?" Scott says, "No, but Milton is very very very bad. So Kevin must tell." Now it's Eleanor's turn. "Harry Senate make jub-jub with Dana Poole," she says. Scott corrects her, "No jub-jub. Smoochies." Eleanor does that faux-perplexed lawyer thing: "So smoochies is good?" Scott isn't falling for her clever maneuvering, however: "I no say smoochies is good. But no as very very very bad as make jub-jub." Eleanor asks, "If teacher touch student boobies, he go away?" Scott says yes. "If teacher make student touch own boobies, he go away?" Scott says probably. "If female teacher make student touch own boobies, she go away?" Scott says yes. "If female teacher make fifteen girls touch own boobies for the leading of cheers dancing competition routine thingy?" Scott says, "We make her stop the booby-touching!" Eleanor asks, "That teacher go away?" Scott says, "No." Ms. Snuffleupagous has an objection, but Eleanor explains that "when school make teacher go away, we must know for why!" The Judge agrees. Which opens the floodgates, as Eleanor proceeds to bring up, in that order: Harry Senate firing a gun in class; Harvey Lipschultz being a bigot who lacks the mental faculties to teach; Mrs. Walsh spanking students for pleasure; Scott sniffing Lauren's hair after she told him his interest made her uncomfortable; and Scott receiving a massage from a prostitute. Of course, with the exception of Harry not getting fired over the gun thing, this is all irrelevant. Scott tried to fire Harvey; he did fire Mrs. Walsh and then lost in court; he cannot be said to have harassed Lauren; and he had no idea that that woman was a prostitute. Then again, Winslow High seems to be in a kind of wolf-crying situation. They keep trying to fire people and failing, so now they can't do it right when they really need to. The scene ends, amusingly, with Anthony Heald's prim insistence that "I thought it was a legitimate massage."