Boston Public
Chapter Thirty-Eight

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Porn To Be Wild

In The Special Meeting Room, Steven is incredulously asking Harmon-ita's parents, "You support this?" They've raised her, apparently, to feel that her body is nothing to be ashamed of. They admit that they're not thrilled about it, but their daughter is eighteen, and they've always encouraged her to go for her dreams, and so forth. They also don't see "what right you have to suspend her." Steven explains that it's not appropriate for her to pose for nude photos on school grounds. Dad brings up the Nude Olympics. "We don't endorse that." "Do you suspend the students who participate?" "No." D'oh! Anyway, the Harmon-itas instruct Steven to lift the suspension, or they'll sue, and then they leave. Luckily, Ronnie is on hand to explain the legalities of the situation. "Legally, they're right. She's eighteen. She had a signed release. And who knows what 'explicit' really means." Um…the Supreme Court? Anyway, the suspension is lifted.

The Hallway. Dick Teachie is still working on Marilyn, who is explaining that at the end of the day, she's so tired that she's in no shape to go party, especially not with some other teacher, who is no doubt also tired and beat up and so forth. Then she says, "Can I be honest?" "Yeah, I'd prefer that." "I kinda have a knack for reading guys. Not all of them, but I can read you. You're horny." "Yeah." "If sex were off the table, you wouldn't be remotely interested." Teachie denies this, and says he's mostly drawn to her mind. "Well, your eyes go up and down my body. You checking out my mind?" "Yeah, the, uh, mind-body connection." "It isn't gonna happen." She walks away. Harry appears to tell Teachie that "no one's ever got Marilyn." Yeah, I guess Coach Kevin tried, briefly, before his departure from the show. I miss Milton Buttle.

We follow Harry into the office, where Scott flags him down and asks him to be an impartial interviewer, and talk to Sporty Spice, to get a reading on her reliability. Harry is reluctant. "I need your help on this, Harry. Please."

Sanctum Stevenorium. Lauren and Marilyn are waiting for Steven. They ask The Exposition Fairy what's going on, and she says she doesn't know. "Oh, come on, you know everything." That's because she's The Exposition Fairy, yo! She says, "All I know is that Marla…" But Steven walks in and shuts her up. "…is a great woman," she finishes. Steven closes the door behind her and sits at his desk. "Well. Sylvie Platt. As you may of heard, she had an anxiety attack. She's gonna be okay, but…it brings up the issue of student stress." Okay, seriously: how so? It's a pretty tenuous connection on which to go summoning your teachers for tongue-lashings. But Steven keeps talking anyway: "Which is becoming almost epidemic. Kids are having stomach problems, sleeping disorders, even ulcers. As faculty, it's something we have to be concerned about. Now, after asking around, I've come to the conclusion that you two are the worst offenders." "Buh? Guh? Huh?" They are not pleased to hear this. They have a little semantic debate about whether or not this is a reprimand (clearly, it is, Steven -- you're wrong), and then he tells them that he just wants them to be "mindful." Lauren, ever the prim persecutee, asks if there've been specific complaints about them, and Steven lies and says not really. He pins the fact that he singled them out on statistical analysis of the nurse's office records, and the students who go to Big Boy for anxiety counseling. "Look, I just want you to think about…right now I can see both of you are offended. Why don't we think about this and reconvene. Can we do that?" Marilyn and Lauren both say great, and leave, but neither of them seem to really think it's so great.

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Boston Public

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