Boston Public
Chapter Thirty-Five

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Previously on Boston Public: Max had cancer, and Harry got all up in his bidness; Max came out of remission; Scott saw Jeremy kissing some guy; Meredith insisted that Jeremy couldn't be gay.

A hospital room. Max is in bed, and Harry is there, having just brought him homework. "I know it's hard, but if you want to graduate, you've got to keep up with your work." Remind me never to tell Harry Senate when I'm sick. Max has no interest in the homework, however, and is preoccupied with Moby Dick, which he is halfway through. "I mean when I'm reading it, this room, it just disappears. I can taste the salt in the air, I can feel the waves…I'd like to finish it." Harry tells him to do his homework first. "Mr. Senate, I'm not getting any better. There isn't gonna be another remission. There's a lot of things I'm not gonna be able to finish: High school. Growing up. But, uh, this…this I can finish. I'd like to know how it ends." Hmmm. Isn't that the one about the foolhardy, obsessive teacher…I mean, "sea captain"…who dedicates himself to the constant and reckless pursuit of arguing his students into no longer having cancer…I mean, "harpooning a white whale"? Yeah, that's the one.

At the offices of the Winslow school paper, Jeremy and The Harper Image work into the wee hours of the morning. This is what is known as "putting the paper to bed" in student journalism parlance (and real journalism parlance, for all I know ["I believe that's correct" -- Sars]). But then Jeremy glances over at Brooke with a look that suggests he'd like to put something all together different to bed, if you know what I mean. Then he does this goofy multiple-choice quiz thing that only an idiot would find funny. Oh, wait. Anyway, he asks her what it is that gives her the stamina to stay up all night working on the paper. Is it Diet "Cola" (which is, hilariously, a bottle of Diet Coke with the word Cola pasted over the word Coke)? Is it some pills? Is it blah blah blah? Blah? Brooke laughs at Jeremy's new personality: Game-Show Host Jeremy. Then she says, "Will you stop? We have to put this paper to bed." See? Then, though she is supposedly the co-editor of the paper or something, she asks him a really basic question about the layout program. He leans over her shoulder to move text around, and, as they gaze into each other's eyes…then he walks away and lights a cigarette. "We'll get busted!" says Brooke. She is the same girl who bought an Ecstasy testing kit earlier this season, yes? Anyhow, Jeremy counters, "My mom thinks I'm gay. Anything else I do pales." "You're not gay?" He raises an eyebrow and puffs. These two are spurring each other to embarrassing heights of overacting. Then she throws water at him. Then he shakes up the soda and approaches her. Their gleeful giggles attract the attention of Scott Guber, who is walking down Delineation Alley nearby. He opens the door to see…Jeremy and Brooke making out. The two kids spring apart. Scott's all, "Awkward pause. Who's been smoking?"

Girls' bathroom. Marla comes in, and overhears two girls talking in a stall. "I read it on a website. Now put this inside." "It feels weird." "Wanna try another one?" "Okay." Because she respects her students' privacy, Marla goes into the neighboring stall and climbs up onto the toilet seat, peering over the wall. She sees the two girls, one of who has a hand in her own pants. "What's going on here?" They girls look up, but it cannot be said that they do so with alarm, or even mild surprise. I guess Marla's always peeking over bathroom stalls. Anyway, Marla tries to determine what was going on, and doesn't buy the tampon defense. "What are you hiding? Cigarettes? Drugs?" She threatens to call the cops, or the girl's parents, and so they relent. A couple of rolls of pennies fall out of the girl's pants and onto the floor. Cha-ching! I mean, "ew."

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