Boston Public
Chapter Three

Episode Report Card
Key Grip: D | Grade It Now!
Wherein Fyvush Finkel says, "You've been making eyes at their buttocks area."

Back in Steve's Office, where Scary Senate is owning up. "That's why I changed Jason Harrelson's grade, that's why I tried to keep Dana from getting expelled because of the pot, and if you want my resignation, you got it." Wait, is he not familiar with the "every chance is your last chance" policy in effect for faculty at this school? Steven says he'll give this some thought. Anthony Heald looks at him like, "Are you crazy? If you don't fire this guy right now, I swear, I will disguise myself as your foster mother and spear your foster father right through a carton of milk, giving myself away only because I'm unable to come up with the correct name for your dog." Oh, go rent T2. Anyway, Guber is all, "Oh my god. Steven. The school board meeting tomorrow night. We have to sit on this. If it got out now that a teacher and a student -- you don't need this." Steven agrees, and then is all, "By the way, the entire soccer team is cheating on exams and terrorizing Anthony Ward." Well, yeah, but he really did bring that on himself, don't you think? I-Want-To-Talk-To-Them-One-By-One wants to talk to the members of the soccer team one by one. Vice-One-By-One wants to know what they're going to do about Harry Senate, but just then The Exposition Fairy knocks on the door and mouths two words through the glass: "Dragon Lady." But we don't actually hear her speak, because that way the show can pay her less.

Sure enough, Marsha "Like a Kick in the" Shinn is strolling through the halls. "Refreshing your memory of what a classroom looks like?" quips Steve. "So," Marsha shoots back, "how long has your Social Studies department been teaching cannibalism?" Of course, that makes it sound like Lauren was instructing her students to actually be cannibals, but who cares about clear articulation of ideas through language at this school? Vaguely close to what you meant to say is good enough. Anyhow, Steven hasn't heard the cannibal thing, but despite the fact that we have, it now gets explained to us again. I feel like there's more interesting scenes going on elsewhere at the school, and the show just refuses to give them to us, preferring instead to REPEAT EVERYTHING OVER AND OVER AND OVER, OH GOD -- all right. So. Basically, she's here for no reason, but makes some vague threats such as, "You wear your pragmatism like a badge. That's a mistake." Huh? Yes, nobody wants a pragmatic principal at a public high school. We want crazy people with no conception of reality taking care of our kids. I suspect that the superintendent doesn't know what the word "pragmatism" means, which would not surprise me in this district.

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Boston Public




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