Boston Public
Chapter Twenty-Four

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Key Grip: C+ | Grade It Now!
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I wanna, like, go to a challengin' school, and stuff

Yeah, boyeee. Boston street scenes in da hiiiiizzouse!!!

The Exposition Fairy escorts Steven down the hall. He asks a bunch of questions about this mysterious teacher meeting, and all of her answers are "I don't know." Man, she's in danger of becoming The Nothing Fairy, who appears periodically and then adds nothing. Suddenly: "SMELL THAT SHOE!" Ah, the shoe lady. She thrusts a sneaker in Steven's face, declaring her mantra. However, this time the shoe per se has nothing to do with her complaint, rendering what follows totally surreal, and in a way ruining the show's best running gag. "That's the shoe of sin. You've got your school newspaper peddling perverted sex advice. Have you read this? Smell that shoe!" Buh? However, the randy newspaper is promising. I'm hoping for another rebellious young brunette firebrand to take the place of Cheryl Holt (sniff!). "I don't pay taxes on my nineteen thousand dollars so that my daughter can get smutty sex advice…" and so on. "Smell that shoe!" Zuh? After learning that Scott is at the dentist ("Again?"), Steven foists the shoe lady off onto The Nothing Fairy and flags down Kooky Ronnie Cooke, so that he might take her to task for teaching creationism in his school. "I wasn't teaching creationism. I was simply telling them what it is." Steven's not buying it. "Controversy makes me put on weight." Kooky: "You're not suggesting that we squash creationism. That would take us back to Scopes, wouldn't it?" She refers, of course, to the Scopes Monkey Trial, subject of the fine play Inherit The Wind, later a film starring Gregory Peck, based on the real trial in which Clarence Darrow defended a teacher on trial for teaching evolution. In short: Guh? No, Ronnie. It would take us back to the Constitution. Just then, a gurney speeds by.

Later, somebody is on the gurney. It's Denise, who got nauseous and fainted during her Princeton interview. Lauren and Steven come into the office, and a nurse checks her out. Lauren secures a promise from the interviewer, all six Aryan feet and four Aryan inches of him, that they can reschedule the interview, and Denise goes off to the infirmary. That's, like, so embarrassin' and stuff.

Marla is in a doctor's office. A doctor comes and tells her that her heart is fine, but her cholesterol is like 980 million, and she needs to be on medication for it. She says, "I don't like taking drugs." He says, "Do you like dying?" She's all, "How should I know? I don't really know what it's like yet." Actually, no, but is this guy the meanest doctor ever or what? Marla explains about her head pills, and the doctor says he'll check for interactions, and probably prescribe her something anyway. Marla's not havin' it: "You doctors, you prescribe, prescribe, prescribe, drug companies pay you to prescribe…" Blah blah blah, Marla is overweight: "Technically, you are obese." "Technically, you're bald, you don't see me prescribing Rogaine." Heh. Marla also explains to the man with the medical degree that heart disease is not really much of a risk for women. The doctor's all, "For a school teacher you have an uncanny ability to get everything wrong." Apparently, heart disease is the number one killer of women, especially black women. Marla looks worried. Oh, right, she's a black woman, isn't she? Also, the doctor's still pretty mean.

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Boston Public

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