Boston Public
Chapter Twenty-Nine

Episode Report Card
Key Grip: B | Grade It Now!
Oscar was Wilde, but Thornton was Wilder

Previously on Boston Public: The Exposition Fairy was gonna be a singer, so she started a band with Marla; the school was going to perform Our Town; Ronnie didn't want to casually date Billy Zane; Dick Teachie told Talk Time that she was an amazing kid, and she said that no one had ever said that to her before, and then, in new footage we've never seen, she adds, "Not even my parents"; Steven got mad at X for accusing him of being a bad parent; Brooke wanted them all to do something together as a family; Scott and The Hook Lady considered going in together on a prosthetic hand for her, which would make them "officially a couple."

In a downtown office, Scott and The Hook Lady are having a meeting with a guy from, I guess, FakeHand Corp., who is showing them the various options available. Right now, he's holding up what looks like one of ED-209's arms from Robocop. "I'm not sure that would look any better than the hook." FakeHand Corp.'s representative explains that this option is equipped with any number of "interchangeable terminal devices." That is, you can put different stuff on the end of your fake arm. To wit: a hairbrush, a fork, and so on. "I'd feel like a Swiss army knife. What I really want is…" "The hand?" He shows her the fake hand, which has "two pounds of grip per square inch. More than enough to meet your basic daily needs." She sighs, because I guess she doesn't think that's enough pound-grippage, or something, which it's probably not, but who knows offhand how much grippage is enough? Am I right, people? Anyway, this is the part where the guy goes all snake-oil on them and pulls the old "I can see you people are after real quality, heh heh, let me take you into the back room where only the special, discerning customers get to go." I mean, he doesn't literally say that, but he says, "When I look at you, and I see the way that you dress, and the way that you carry yourself…this is not you." Then he pulls out the super-extra-good fake arm that he's been hiding, and rattles off its awesome features, which include (gasp!) four and a half pounds of grip per square inch! And also, like, electrical impulse readers, and no cables and crap. "This," he says, "this is the Cadillac."

I love that one of the guest stars is named China Jesusita Shavers. It's like a name you make up, slowly, when caught in someone else's house. "Why…I'm the cable guy." "Oh yeah? What's your name?" "China…Jesus…ita…Shavers…stein…manfrenjensen…"

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Boston Public




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