Boston Public
Chapter Twenty-Nine

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Oscar was Wilde, but Thornton was Wilder

Elsewhere, at what appears to be some kind of open mike night, people are listening to a boring Christmas-carol-singing woman. Ronnie and Billy Zane are in the audience, and he remarks to her that she seems distant, and that "if I said anything, or did anything, I apologize." She says he didn't, and then wonders how he can throw out a blanket apology regardless of whether he's even wrong or not. "Saves time." Heh. She tells him to shut up and listen to the music, and he says it's so beautiful that it makes him want to sing. This is supposed to be funny, because we're supposed to think that he's a bad singer, which he's not -- he's just cheesy, which, frankly, would pretty clearly fit right in at this thing. Also in the audience are the Harpers: Brooke, Steven, and X. Brooke's all, "This is so boring." Can I mention that I hate her acting? I find it mannered and false, and she does this squinty slight headshake on every single line, which is supposed to indicate some kind of external manifestation of emotion, but really just makes her seem snotty every time she opens her mouth. Anyway, sure, it's dull, but the Harpers all agree that it's nice for them to be all together. In addition, Dick Teachie and Lauren are at a table together. Wow, this guy's replacing Harry in more ways than one. He's also making a call on his cell, because he's trying to find out if Talk Time got into BU. Lauren shakes her head, either impressed by his dedication or appalled by his rudeness; it's impossible to tell which. Meanwhile, the boring singer finishes singing, and so now it's time for…aww, yeah! The rockin' song stylings of DaveKelley's Child! They get the whole room standing and clapping and whatnot, with their acute sense of rhythm and their musically sound three-part harmony. Even Steven allows himself to be dragged unwillingly to his feet, almost, kind of.

The auditorium. Scare-emy Peters is on stage, reading from a script, while sitting on a stool in a spotlight. I love it when actors act acting, because it must be really hard, actually, to act like you're acting when you're really acting like you're acting like you're acting, right? Right. Anyway, he's giving some speech about that special someone walking by your locker, blah blah blah Our Town-cakes. When he finishes the speech, Dr. Benji, who is apparently the director, shouts out light cues and stage directions: "Center stage! Enter Emily and Elizabeth!" Two girl come in (one I think I recognize from last year, as the girl who wore the "Do Me" t-shirt, a.k.a. Subvert-The-Status-Quo-lita), and start their scene. Scott sits down behind Benji, and asks how it's going. "Very well." "You know, our entire funding rides on…" "Shhhh!" As the scene goes on, Scott becomes confused. "This seems different from the Our Town I remember…" "Please hush!" The two girls chat some more. Then the two girls kiss. Scott tries to eat his own head. Dr. Benji sighs.

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Boston Public

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