Delineation Alley. (Remember? That's what I call "The Hallway" now. It was this whole big set-up in last week's recap, you should check it out -- I was in top form, oh man.) Lauren and Cara, the singer from the club, are walking along. 'Cause, see, the sexy pop princess is also a student at Winslow High! Making her, say it with me now: Britney-ta. Or Christina Agui-lita. Or Mandy Mo-lita. Or…Pink. Or, that new one, what's her name. Shakira. Yeah. Are there like a million of these girls, or what? And half of them have names starting with "L'il." Anyhow, apparently some big record guy was at the show last night, and wants to meet with Cara today, and maybe he's gonna sign her, and "oh my god, oh my GOD, OH MY GOD!" Just then, Marla appears. Or, you know, not so much appears as walks towards them down the hall. "Did you hear about Danny Hanson? He got arrested, there was a fight and he broke the other guy's head. There's a rumor that there were guns, but I don't know about that part." Where is he now? "In jail! He was convicted!" My, how tall tales spread and become altered, like some massive game of telephone. Right? I got it, right? As Lauren and Marla go off together, they pass Steven, who is facing off with the editor of the student paper, who is, much to my disappointment, not Cheryl Holt's sister Meryl Holt. It's some nerdy guy who definitely looks like he could be the editor in chief of his high school paper. Did I mention that I was the editor in chief of my high school paper? Steven is explaining that he's not trampling on free speech, but he won't fund the paper if it contains the sex column, so Chief says he'll get alternative funding, so Steven says, "Then I'll trample on your free speech. Don't mess with me, I've had it." As Steven walks away, he runs into Scott, who tells him that Dick Teachie was arrested, and that "rumor has it he threw somebody out a window." The Hook Lady walks by and gives Scott the super-duper cold shoulder. He's all, "Meredith!" And she's all, "Scott." But it's more, like, the WAY they each say it that, like, makes it so super-duper-cold.
Meanwhile, in prison (that's kind of fun to write), Ronnie returns to Dick Teachie's cell and tells him he's free to go, because the police agree that he didn't intend to really hurt the guy, so he's off the hook criminally, but not civilly, as Goat Boy could still sue him directly. "Yeah, let 'im try!" Ronnie also brought Girlfriend McFiancée with her, but Dick Teachie just yells at her to go away, so she does. Who can blame her? She doesn't even have a damn name. Ronnie tells Teachie he should at least talk to LoveInterest von FemaleCharacter, but he tells her thanks for the legal advice, but he'll feel free to torpedo his personal life all on his own. Then he leaves. Ronnie looks after him, sadly, because she knows Billy Zane would never brain someone with a phone for her.