The hallway. Lauren and Brooke stride along, and Lauren does the old blah blah I can't believe how big you've gotten blah dee blah. Only in this case, it's only to set up "Wow! Seventeen? You must be killing goats by now!" Brooke gives her this total death stare, which is appropriate, since that's not funny at all. Then Brooke confides in Lauren something else that Steven won't find funny: "I got expelled."

"WHAT!?" yells Steven. We're now in his office, as he begins a scene with the most incredulous question in the history of the show. Steven doesn't understand, and rants about how Brooke has no disciplinary record, and how she's been a model student, and…uh-oh, little Brooke has begun to look a wee bit uncomfortable. As Steven begins to the dial the phone, Brooke reveals that there have been a few other incidents: "I set off the fire alarm. Once. To get out of taking a test. It's the Stanford Nine, it's racist. I organized a school condom sale on AIDS awareness week. And there was a week in September when I refused to bathe. It was a whole Title Nine thing, see, the girl's locker room is, um…and, I…uh, punched a kid, after she insulted me, and I burned one book, as a protest. And I called my guidance counselor skanky." At this point, Steven hangs up the phone. "All nothing, Dad. It's so lame." Heh. So, it seems that Brooke is an issue-minded young revolutionary. Let's get those brains percolating on a nickname, people. No doubt I'll cook up a poll of some kind on the subject by the next commercial break.